We All Have A Hell
by NiGhT-sTaLkEr13
Summary: When meeting Megatron, Arkona believes he's a sweet, charming religious mech. Caught up in her own attraction, she becomes a victim to Megatron's darkest desires, finding out he's not the mech she thought he was.
1. Chapter 1

We All Have A Hell

**Characters: Megatron, Arkona  
G1  
Pre-war  
Warning: This story will contain high levels of profanity, adult themes, drug and alcohol abuse, sexual themes, high levels of sexual violence and psychological themes. Please read at own risk. **

**Summary:**

_When meeting Megatron, Arkona believes he's a sweet, charming religious mech. Caught up in her own attraction, she becomes a victim to Megatron's darkest desires, finding out he's not the mech she thought he was._

Prologue.

I could see him watching me from across the bar. It was loud and rowdy as all hell, but that didn't mean I couldn't see those mysterious vermillion optics piercing into my own baby blue ones. Did I know the mech? No, I'd never seen him before. It wasn't exactly my thing, going to bars and partying. I was a good femme. I was a good, virgin femme who loved Primus and held him close to my spark. Even now, I could feel the pendant around my neck sitting between my breastplates.  
I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for my friend. It was her twenty-second birthday, so she decided it was best to go down to a bar, celebrate with a few friends and then probably get over-energised like no tomorrow. No, I wasn't like her, and I was older than her—being twenty-five—but she was my best friend. I couldn't say no.  
So, here I was… having… optic sex with this mech that was sitting by himself across the room. I actually giggled at that. Okay, so I was a virgin, but that didn't mean I was innocent. Of course I thought about interfacing. I thought about it a lot. I didn't have a mechfriend, and sometimes I wished I would. But that didn't mean I was going to throw my virginity around like my best friend, Rem.  
I'd be lying if I said the mech wasn't hot. He had to be older than me, by a few stellar-cycles, but that didn't matter. He had that rugged miner look to him. Most of the 'bots around the bar were miners, actually. Rem's partner was a miner, so I figured he chose the location, probably wanting to show Rem how the boys acted and how much fun they could all get up to. This mech, though? There was definitely something different about him. I could see it in those two dark, burning optics. They sort of… pulled you in, if that makes any kind of sense? The sharpness to his features just made him even more attractive, especially in the light of the bar.  
As a drink was slammed onto the table, my optics were brought to my best friend, making me look at the massive jug of high-grade in front of my face. Oh no, I was not drinking that! And there was no way she could make me!

"Come on, Arkona," I hear her whine, that desperate pull in her voice. She's already half drunk, the other mechs and femmes all are, too. Thank Primus I wasn't the designated driver of all of these hoons. They had mining quarters in walking distance, which meant most of them would return there—and I assumed Rem would go back with her partner. I, on the other hand? I'd just drive back home by myself. No biggy. I'm a big femme. I know how to look after myself.

"I gotta drive, Rem, you know that!" I say in defence, seeing her give a drunken laugh. Then she leans down to me, as if we're school kids telling each other secrets. To my surprise, her finger lifts to the mech across the room. Oh, no, she's found out I've been eyeing him! I can't help but shrink into my invisible shell.

"Who's the mech?" she asks, high-grade on the breath of her light voice. I shake my helm, telling her that I don't know who he is. She just laughs. "Yeah? Well you two seem to be having some pretty hardcore optic sex, so clearly you have a think for each other. C'mon, Arkona, you can't be a fuckin' virgin forever. Just go over there and talk to him! Not like he's a rapist or anything, he's just a miner."

A sharp feeling runs down my spinal strut at the thought of him being some kind of raping murderer. I quickly glance over, seeing the mech's optics once more, and just as quickly as I looked at him, I turned my head back to my drunk friend.  
"Are you crazy?" I ask. "He's way older than me, and… he's probably got a thousand femmes after him." Seriously, someone that rugged and hot would never be single, I tell myself. Then again, maybe by the off chance? Argh, I don't know. I've never really done anything like this before! Who knows, maybe Rem could be wrong. What if he is some kind of mad mech that goes around chopping femmes up or something!?  
Rem nudges into me once more, and I see her wink, standing up. No! Grabbing her arm, I pull her back down. "Don't you dare go over there and talk to him!" I know what she's like, she'll make me out to be some massive slut, when that's not who or what I am. My virginity is something sacred to me. I would never lose it to someone I just met. I'm faithful to my religion, and that is to keep myself saved until I bond to the one I love. She knows that, and she knows I'd never forgive her if she pushed a mech onto me.

Groaning, Rem looks at me, her vibrant, orange optics rolling. "Fine, I won't, but if you don't within the next two breems, I'll be asking him out for you. Got it?" she downright ordered. I merely blushed a little. She was a wonderful friend, but we just lived in two separate words when it came to mechs. She was ready to take anyone. I often wondered if she and her mechfriend had had multiple partners during sex. Not exactly something I wished to picture, but, like I said, I'm not exactly all that innocent.  
"I'm going to go to the femme's room, I'll be back," I said. I needed some fresh air. Besides, with Rem bugging me about the mysterious mech in the corner, I just needed a little time to myself. So standing, I grabbed my belongings and walked into the bathroom, nudging the door open.  
While inside, I do my thing, washing my hands afterwards. It smells like cigarettes and raw high-grade in here, so I try and put a little more perfume on, grabbing it out of my slender strapped handbag that's around my shoulder. I unloop it, taking it off. And once I'm done, I take a look at myself in the large mirror. It would have to do… I can't say I'm the prettiest femme out there, but with my dark violet, black and white form, I'm certainly feminine enough.  
Venting a gentle sigh, I take a step back, grabbing my bag in my hands before heading out the door. In a sudden rush, I feel my belongings being knocked from my hands, making me gasp as I've clearly run into someone who was coming out of the mechs bathroom. I drop to the floor immediately, trying to scoop up everything at once, crying out a desperate apology to whoever I hit.  
As I'm about to reach the bottle of perfume that has fallen from my bag, I see a much larger hand take it, bringing my optics up to the other mech. I swallow hard, feeling my spark go tight. Oh, seriously? I just _had_ to make a fool of myself in front of the mech I have been eying all night!? How could this possibly get any worse?  
Gently, I take the perfume and mumble, "Thank you," to him. I can feel that my cheeks are on fire. And damnit for having such a pale face. I just know he's laughing at me mentally with those really… gorgeous… lips of his… Oh, Primus, he's much more attractive than I realised.

"Well, are you going to stay down there all night?" His voice is husky, almost what I imagined to the ruggedly handsome look. I feel my brows furrow, though. No need to patronize me! As if I don't already feel like a complete aft. However, he does extend his hand as he stands. And just for his attitude, I turn my nose.

"I can get up myself, thank you," I mutter, pushing myself to my pedes. I clutch my bag and put the perfume back in, hanging the string over my shoulder once more. "Well… I best be off now, sir." It wasn't that I wasn't thankful or anything, but if he was one of _those_ mechs? I didn't want anything to do with him.

My optics turn back around to the much taller mech as he speaks once more, though. "You have a very beautiful perfume." Was he serious? There goes my cheeks again. This time, I see him smile, and oh my… I'm speechless to those perfect teeth. And… were those fangs!? I felt light-headed. Why couldn't I just run away? How could someone honestly be this attractive!?

"U-um, thank you very much…" I say, though it sounding more like a question than a thanks. I look back up to him, and those intense optics are looking back at me, his lips having gone straight once more. How could someone be that confident!? Here I am, as red as an overheated engine, and here he is, standing there as cool as possible.

"Megatron," I hear him say. That makes me realise that I have to tell him my name in return. I straighten up and try to look as professional as I can—even though I'm in a bar full of strangers.

"Arkona," I returned, letting my hand come out. He took it, and surprisingly, his hands were gentle. Even more surprising, he didn't just shake it. Instead, I felt gentle lips against the top of my knuckles. I could have giggled, but instead, I think my blush said enough, my hand returning to myself.  
"S-so, what brings you down here? I-I saw you over in the corner. Not too big on crowds then?" I hear myself give a light laugh. "If you're more the quiet type, I don't think this is the place you're going to find silence."

A charming smile comes across his face, and I think part of me melted. Okay, usually I wasn't one of those femmes that would just sit there and gossip about how hot mechs could be. But… this was different. Megatron, so I had learnt, definitely didn't seem like the average mech you'd see in a crowd full of jocks.  
"Actually, sometimes coming here just helps the thoughts disappear," he told me. Well, yeah, how could anyone think straight here? At the same time, a lot of questions were running through my mind. Why would anyone want to come here for peace of mind? What did he think about that was so bad? Why come to a bar, one of the most noisiest placed on Cybertron, to get your processor straight? If anything, this is the kind of place to send someone like me insane.

I couldn't help but lift an optic ridge. "So… bars calm you down?" I questioned. How anyone could put 'bar' and 'calm' in the same sentence? I don't know. I was curious, though.

"Yes, and no," the large mech said. "Why don't we move away from the bathrooms? I think a booth would be much more comfortable. I could buy you a drink," he suggested.

Immediately, I went a little stiff. Getting a drink from a complete and utter stranger? So many warning flags pop up in my head. And yet, I'm just drawn in by what is in front of me. For the first time in my life… I think I'm attracted to someone. And I don't even _know_ them!  
"I-I don't drink," I mumble, a little embarrassed. I don't know why I'm embarrassed that I don't drink. In fact, I'm very proud of myself that I don't drink. I never fell into peer pressure at a young age, and even though all of my friends do, I've just never been interested in high-grade.

"Just because we're in a bar, doesn't mean all they sell is high-grade," I hear the older looking mech explain. Now, I feel a bit silly. I'm not stupid! I just… am a little surprised that someone so attractive is actually asking me for a drink!  
"Come, I'll get you something without high-grade," he says, giving me a gentle look before turning back and walking to the previous booth he was in. Immediately, I feel myself tail him like some love-stricken puppy. And when he gets back, he tells me to take a seat, and that he will order for us.

With my bag tight in my hands, I see Rem across the room. She's looking at me with a confused look, mouthing something to me. I just wave, giving an uncertain smile back, shrugging my shoulders. She claps her hands, and I just sit back in my chair, optics going to the drink as it's placed in front of me. Oh, it looks very tasty… This thing had to be quite expensive. Should I be… giving him credits for this? I don't want to be a burden…

The miner sat down across from me. He nudged his helm to where my friend was. "I'm assuming you're here for her?" Megatron asks me. I nod, and he just smirks. Oh, it's delightful. He takes a sip of his drink, and I realise he's much more well-mannered than most of the miners I've ever seen around. It definitely builds my attraction towards him. "You don't seem like the kind of femme to be regularly seen in bars. I assume you're… out of your comfort zone?"

Oh, how I was! I nod once more, moving the drink a little closer to me. I take a sip, and it's like something explodes in my mouth. Wow, whatever this thing is, it's got to be the most delicious thing I've ever tasted. I move it back in pure mannerism. I don't want to look like some kind of pig in front of him.  
"You'd guess correctly," I laughed, seeing that gorgeous smile spread across his face once more. "I… you have really nice teeth…" I mumble, feeling myself go red once more. Oh, Primus, why did I say that!?

Megatron looked down at himself, placing a finger into his mouth to touch against one of his fangs. He smirked, though, looking back at me. "Are you flirting with me?" he asks. I freeze, hands going tight in my lap. Was I flirting with him!? Or… was I just giving him a compliment!? I don't know what the hell the difference is anymore!  
He must have sensed my worry, as he placed his elbows onto the table and smiled gently in my direction. "Because… I'd like if you were." Once more, I feel myself blush again. Is he for real!? Is this… actually going well for me? Primus, I always got picked on for being such a prude when it came to sex. I don't want him to think I'm some kind of whore!  
"Hm, you remind me of someone I once knew," he murmurs, pulling me out of my thoughts. My optics widen a little, and I see something in him I haven't yet seen before. Was he… upset? Who was this 'someone'? His optics lower down to his drink, and I actually feel a little guilty. Even if I don't know why.

"Oh?" I say softly, trying to sound more supportive than surprised. "I hope she was a nice femme," I laugh.

"Oh, yes," he says, his face gentle once more. His hands go beneath his chin as he looks at me. Not just at me… but I feel he's looking into my very soul. Is that even possible? "She was my best friend when we were younger. Unfortunately… she passed."

My spark goes tight. I don't know if he's trying to push back the hurt in his voice for me or for himself, but it was clear that whoever this was, he cared for them deeply. "How did she…?" I ask, seeing his optics lift to mine once more. Instantly, I feel I should regret what I asked. He seems angry.

"She died in a fire." I was surprised he even answered. However, I was able to relax a little as he said so. "It was a tragic accident. I… pray that she's happy where she is now." My hand goes to the pendant that is around my neck, feeling it, as if gripping onto it and silently praying with him. He was religious?

"I'm sure she is," I try to say in a comforting manner. "You're religious, then?" I ask. If anything, it might help to get off such a grim topic.

For a moment, there was a pause between us, but then those beautiful optics look back into my own. "Yes, I am," he informs. "I was raised in a highly religious family." At least something I can have in common with him. I wondered what he was doing in a bar if he was religious, though. Then again, he seemed like he'd had his fair share of tragedies. Maybe he came here to forget about the tragic accident his best friend had?

"I was, too. I carry Primus with me wherever I go." My voice is barely a whisper now as I still clutch the pendant around my neck. I see he's wearing his own. I wonder what it is… "What does that mean?" I ask, pointing to the chain around his neck.

Looking down, he laughs a little, a husky laugh. I kind of like it. "This was just something I got from my father before he left… He-ah-he died in a mining accident. I keep it with me to remember him," he said.

How much tragedy has this mech had!? Oh, it was no wonder he had faith in Primus. I frown, though I lift my hand, placing it against his gently. I admit, the look he gave me was quite a confused one, but I reassured him with a small rub of my thumb.  
"I'm so sorry, Megatron… I'll keep you in my prayers, if it helps any? As well as your friend and your father," I promise. I see him give a soft smile. It wasn't much of one, but I could see it was there. It was nice.

"Say… would you like to come to the church with me? So we could pray together?" I was surprised at the question. But, how could I leave a poor fellow worshipper alone in the dark like that? I doubted his drink had high-grade in it. It wasn't rich in colour, which meant it was just a standard drink. I honestly didn't know where the church was around here, though. This wasn't exactly an area I knew…

"I… I don't know where one is." Once more, my voice is soft and shy. I feel silly not knowing when he's offering me something so personal and sweet.

"That's alright. I have a ute outside. After all, I can't drive on the roads in my mining form," he chuckles. Standing, my optics follow him, and then that hand is there in front of me again. I bite my lip, worried. I shouldn't just leave Rem here alone.  
Looking over my shoulder, I realise that the group I was with is by far more than drunk. Oh, she'll be fine! She's got her mechfriend to take care of her. So I lift my own hand, laying it gently into his. He gives me a courteous nod, and I see a flash of thanks in his optics. I make a mental note to text Rem once I'm out of the church. Hopefully it's not too far.  
Once we were outside, he opened the door to his working ute. I only guessed it was his working ute with the design of the bed in the back. It wasn't for show, that was for sure. And I hear him say, "It's not much, but it gets me through." He's modest, too.

I giggle, the mech stepping into the driver's seat and opening the door for me on the inside. Taking his hand, he helps me in, and once more, I feel myself blushing. He's strong, too. Primus, this mech has everything going for him.  
Once I'm seated, I take a look around the new environment. Yep, it's definitely a work ute. But what surprised me was what was hanging from the mirror. Pendant after pendant of the religion we both shared. I smiled lightly, lifting my fingers to one of them. "You must be very faithful…"

The engine turns on, and I see him turn to me, giving a wide smile. "Not as much as you think, Arkona," I hear him say. And then there was something hot and tight around my neck. It all happened so fast. One second, I was sitting calmly, the next, all I could do was flail my arms, trying to rip the others from my throat.  
Choking, I tried to breathe as hard as I could, but the force was too tight. I tried to scream, but it was held off by how tight his hands were, not to mention the sound of the engine. My spark went tight, and all I could think about was what Rem said. That it was a fat chance that he was a rapist or a murderer. That he was just a miner! Pulse after pulse, I begin to feel hot, knowing that my circulation is being cut off. The last image I saw was the swinging pendants from the mirror before everything turned black.

**Author's Comment:**

****Ahh... band names, you're a life saver! Yes, Arkona is a band. Amazing band, too.

Anyway, so I'm starting a new series. This is the prologue. And yes, it's going to be in first person. I just really want to get better at it, and I've had this idea for quite some time. Basically, this is going to go through Arkona's stay with Megatron as one of his victims. I won't give too much away, but I will say that some terrible fucked up shit will happen, so it's not for the faint at heart. ^^;

So... let's see how things go from here ey? :)


	2. Chapter 2

Part II

**Day One: **

A searing pain enters my body as I feel myself awaken. _Am I dead?_ is the only thing I can think. No, I can hear my spark-beat. Actually, it's quite hard in my audios. Soon enough, I can hear my breathing, and my optics flicker online. It's all blurry, but I can definitely see I'm not dead. If I was, this was Hell… and I didn't belong here.  
There was something against my neck, I could feel it. And dragging my hands up, I realise they feel much heavier than they should. I look down, my spark stopping as I see chains around my wrists. Oh, Primus, no! I'm some kind of sick fucking victim!  
Instantly, my hands go up to my neck. A collar!? This had to be a dream, right!? Wake up, Arkona! Wake up! This couldn't be real! This couldn't be fucking real! What had I done to deserve this!? I was a good femme! Oh, Primus, why…!?  
As my vision clears, I'm able to look around the room, quickly analysing what I could use as a weapon. It's a warehouse of some sort. I want to speak, but then I realise that's stupid. No, I wasn't going to be one of those femme's in the movies where they ask if anyone is there. Not only would I be bringing attention to myself, but there was a fucking raping murderer in here somewhere! How I could slap Rem across the face for letting me even _look_ at this mech!  
Feeling the chain around my neck, I realise my neck is deeply bruised. In fact, I should have had something crushed, but it seemed to be holding. I was amazed I hadn't honestly been killed from that bastard's fucking brute strength! No time to complain though, right? I needed to get the hell out of here!  
My hands fall to the floor, trailing along the chain that holds them together. They're quite long, actually. And that makes me realise something else. I'm able to move around in here. I quickly push myself up and head to what might be a door, however, I'm pulled back, falling to my hands and knees as my ankle is torn from beneath me.  
"Nnn!" I groan, looking down at my leg. My spark falls to my waste-chamber as I see another chain. It's attached to my leg, a thick lock on it. My optics trail the length, seeing that what I had been sitting on was what would look like an old berth mattress. Oh, no, this freak is going to keep me here!  
"Primus, please no…" I whisper, touching my chest. It's gone! My pendant is gone! I clutch my chest where it once was, as if to search for it over and over again, and I feel my optics glaze with tears. No, don't cry! I can't afford to cry! It will only make me look weak in front of him! And he'll just laugh! That sick bastard will just laugh at me! I had to get out of here!  
With the length that I was able to move with, I walked to one of the benches inside the room. I search the drawers for anything useful. Damn! They're all empty of tools. I growl mentally. I'm terrified, horrified! But what will fear do for me now? Then again, fear could very much keep me alive. I just have to control it. I have to control my fear, and then I can think straight, and think of an actual plan to get out of here.  
Hearing something, I instantly freeze, my frame going stiff. My spark is thumping in my audios, and I wipe my face, trying to look strong. I crawl back to the place where I'm clearly meant to stay, sitting down on the berth and watching as I see the mech come into view.  
Swallowing, I tear my optics from him. He's topless, and I don't want to see that! Even if he is still very good looking. Right now, that's the _last_ thing on my mind! My kidnapper was hot? He was a freak! A downright fucking freak! I was not going to stay here and become his pet if that's what he was thinking! I was not a weak femme like those in the stories and movies. I would get out of here! I would escape! And then, if I could… I'd kill him. Someone like that doesn't deserve redemption from Primus. Fuck, did he even _believe_ in Primus!? Or was that all some sick façade to get me here!?

"You're awake," I hear him say. I cringe, my hands going tight against my knees as I'm sitting on my legs. I feel my fingers etch into my metal, and how I just want to punch him. I've never been a violent femme. Never have I gotten into a fight before. I just never saw the means to them. But now? I was wishing I knew how to. I was wishing I knew how to kill. It was against everything I believed in, but to think Primus would save me was just silly. Primus merely helped them who helped themselves, and that's what I respected and believed him to be. A helper for those who were willing to try. I'd try the best I could…

I stay silent, my helm down. I'm so angry! I've never been this angry before. And yet, my body is shaking from terror. I don't know whether to be scared out of my mind or furious to what this mech has done to me. Kidnap me!? For what!? What did I ever do to him!?  
Hearing his pedes, the next thing I see is a knee, the mech having crouched. My body goes still, afraid that if I move I'll be killed. All I can do is pray to Primus to not let this mech harm me. And then there's a hand against my chin, and I flinch, trying to tear myself away from him.

"Come now, that's no way to act in front of your host," says Megatron. And there's a hint of glory in his voice, I can hear it. Host? _Host!?_ He is not my fucking host! He is my primus-forsaken kidnapper! If it was money he wanted, then fine! He could have it! But damnit, just let me go!  
"I brought you some energon. I thought it would help with the bruises. I'm sorry, by the way. I… I didn't mean to hurt you, but I knew you wouldn't accompany me any other way. After all, I'd tried so hard to get your attention, and now you're finally here… You're finally mine…"

My optics go wide in horror as I look at him—being forced by his hand once more as it has my chin. I wanted to spit on him. At the same time, I have no fucking clue to what he's speaking about. "You sick freak!" I sneer, optics going hard on his own. For a minute, he actually seems offended! Oh, Primus, that's probably the worst thing to do right now! Make my kidnapper upset. He'd soon be my killer if that was the case! Shit, Arkona, think before you speak!

Watching him intently, I feel his thumb go against my cheek. "I deserve that," he says to my surprise. Wait…? What!? He knows what he's doing is wrong! It only makes me more angry! I wished I could kick him right where it hurts. "Here, take this. It will ease the pain."

My chin is let go, and I look at the bowl he's put in front of me. Inside is a glass of energon and two pills. Hell no, I wasn't taking those! What were they, drugs that would make me high so he could fuck me or something? What was in the energon? Poison!?  
I look away, actually huffing with quite a bit of attitude. I'd rather starve than touch _anything_ this mech has to offer me. And I turn around, trying to hold back my tears. I just wanted to be let go. What would Rem think after not hearing from me!? I would have just disappeared! What about my parents!? I cuddle into myself, knowing that there's no hope. I wish there was, but I feel hopeless and alone. I just want to feel my parents against me, holding me and hugging me, telling me that everything's going to be okay. Nothing was as precious as a motherly hug, and it's all I wish for right now.

"You have to eat sometime, darling," I hear him say from behind me. I scowl, turning around, and somehow—I don't know how—I have strength that I've never thought I had before.

"I am _not_ your darling! You sick fucking cunt!" I usually wouldn't swear, but I was sure Primus would forgive me in such a situation. "I hope you die! I hope you choke on your own fucking energon and die!" I spit. My breath is harsh, and I can feel my spark pounding once more inside my chest.  
All of a sudden, I'm pushed down, a hand against my jaw. My hands grasp his arms. Oh, fuck, they're so muscly! I'm doomed! I try to struggle, but in the end, he's got a tight hold on me, and I know if I move, I'll soon have a broken jaw. Something I definitely don't want!

I see his fangs poke out from beneath those curvy lips, his optics burning. "No, no, no, that's not how my Char speaks," he says in a soothing whisper. I go stiff once more, my optics furrowing. Char? Who the hell is Char!? Oh, Primus, this mech was insane! I'd rather be up for ransom!

"Whatever you want… I'll do it, just let me go!" I almost beg. I feel humiliated and weak, but I have no other choice. It's either death or seem like a sick puppy. And right now, I really don't want to die. I have too much to live for! This isn't the way anyone should go!  
"I-I've got credits! They're in my bag!" Where did my bag go? "If that's what you want… take it! I've got a phone and other things in there, too! Please! Just let me go, Megatron… just let me go!" I feel tears dribbling down my cheeks once more, and I can't hold them back this time. I'm absolutely terrified!

Megatron looks at me, his hand loosening on my jaw. I was too scared to tend to it, and in a moment, I feel his own hand massaging my jaw. "I didn't mean to get angry with you," he murmurs apologetically. The creepy thing? He sounds sincere! Like he honestly _is_ sorry to have hurt me! Well, that was the second fucking time, aft-hole! Now I have a bruised neck _and_ jaw! If he was trying to keep me as some kind of pet, he was going the wrong way about it! More like ragdoll!  
"Here, take these before I change my mind," he orders, picking up the bowl and placing it into my hands. This time, he has more force, and I look up, catching my breath as I sit up, surprised to see him stand up and walk away.

Watching, I see the scars down his body. He's only topless, but that's more than enough scars to make me question what the hell this mech has been through. My first thought is more victims. Please don't tell me those were other femmes that did this to him. Please don't tell me they're all dead and I'm about to join their pile!  
No… from the looks of it, it certainly couldn't have been from femme's hands. Maybe an axe or something? A knife? It's hard to tell. My optics are still cloudy, especially now considering I had let tears run from them. All I knew was that it was quite large, down his left shoulder-blade. But that wasn't the only one I'd seen. I'd seen them against his abdomen, too, when he first walked into the room. Some against his chest, too. And when he'd held my jaw? There were definitely cuts against his wrist.  
Either this mech got into a lot of fights, or he was self-destructive. Either one was as bad as the other. Either I was locked in here with a maniac who was suicidal, or I was stuck in here with a violent murderer. Or maybe both? I swallow hard, but I look at the bowl between my knees in my hands.  
"How do I know it's not poison?" I seethe, my voice harsher than I realise. He turns his helm over his shoulder, a rag in his hands. I try to look away, my optics slowly falling to the contents in the bowl. If he'd wanted to kill me, he would have done it now. He wouldn't watch me suffer from poison like this. He would have done it already when he strangled me. Or drugged my drink at the bar. He did neither. He had to be keeping me alive for some reason… And I feared whatever it may be.

His body turns, and I look up as he speaks once more, my optics going to his broad, sweat-covered chest. He must have been doing a work out before or something. "Why would I poison you?" he says smoothly. Well, I don't know! You're the kidnapper, you tell me! He shakes his helm, though, coming towards me once more. I lean back as he crouches again. I have to look up, considering he's still taller than me even when crouched. I swallow hard.  
"It's fresh from the mine. I would never poison such beauty." Once more, his hand comes up. I flinch, leaning away, my spark pulling inside my chest. But softly, his hand touches my cheek and runs against it in a comforting manner. No, I would not even start believing that he had some kind of fucking conscious! He was sick and twisted! "Come on, drink up. You don't want to starve, do you? Besides, you'll never taste pure energon like this. Later on, I'll help you get cleaned up. I can't have you looking so filthy. Not when you're so…" He stops, and I feel his optics burn into my body as he looks me up and down. Then a smile forms across his sharp face. "Just eat."

As he stands once more, I watch him, my optics narrowing. How dare he treat me like this!? Who the hell does he think he is!? However, I know I'm hungry, and I know if I have any chance of getting out of here alive, then I have to be strong. Starving myself isn't going to do anyone any good.  
I pick up the glass, bringing it to my lips. Already, I can smell the energon, and it smells divine. Oh, Primus, I've never had anything like it. It hadn't been processed yet, taken straight from the mines and melted down. And I take a sip, feeling it tingle against my tongue. I was unable to stop myself from sculling it, putting the glass back down. I wondered how long that would keep me going. Why would he give me something that would enhance my strength?  
"What are those?" I ask, looking to the cylinder that's beside him. It's orange, which makes me think it's some kind of clinical drug. It was bold of me to ask anything, but if I'm going to be stuck here, why not make conversation with my kidnapper? In fact, the more I know about him, the better I have a chance of getting out of here alive. I can con him. I can try and get him to trust me. Whatever his purpose is, I can manipulate him. I know it's wrong, but I'm the victim here! I have to be strong! Doing something is better than nothing.

Megatron turns around once more, looking at the cylinder beside him. He gives a small smirk, picking it up into his left hand. "It's medication," he says, looking at me with those dark, mysterious optics of his. "You should know that. I don't like taking it, though. It messes with my processor." How could anything mess with his processor? It was clearly already messed up as it was! Still, this little bit of information made me know he was being treated for something… Great, please don't tell me I'm stuck in here with an escaped mental patient.

I try to put on a soft voice, as if I actually care a fucking inch for this bastard, "What are they for?" I asked, seeing him give me a curious look. "I-I forgot… you, kind of knocked the memory out of me when you strangled me." Obviously he thinks I'm someone else, so as long as I play along, I might have a chance of getting these damn chains off me and returning the fucking favour.

This time, a light laugh comes from the back of his throat. "I'm sorry," he murmurs in that apologetic voice once more. I can't believe he's sorry! Fucking freak. "I didn't mean to hurt you, like I said before. It's just… I've lost you so many times before," he says, his optics arching a little. This time, he comes closer to me, and I feel myself swallow hard, wanting to spit in his face once more. He lays a hand against the side of my helm. "I can't lose you again. Not when you've come back to me. I thought you were dead… And I'm so sorry I hurt you. I won't do it again, I promise."

Dead!? My hands go tight around my knees once more, having placed the bowl aside—the pills still in there. I could live with the bruises; I wasn't risking taking something I didn't know. But dead? Who was this femme!? Who was this Char!? I felt my spark rate pick up once more, sweat beginning to form around my temples.  
"How did… did I…?" I ask. There was fear in my voice now; I could hear it as I spoke. It was shaken, and I tried desperately not to look away from his optics, as if I was telling the truth. As if I really was this femme.

"A fire," he answers. I feel my optics widen even more, my hands tight and my body stiff as my spark skips a beat. No! No, he killed her! He killed his 'best friend' he had been talking about in the bar!? Oh, Primus, she wasn't his fucking best friend. He was in love with her! And now he thought I was her! How the hell was I going to get out of here!? I can't stay! I can't stay in here being locked up and kidnapped and who knows what else! He'd kill me, just like he killed her!

A whole new feeling or horror and fear dampens me, and I feel his helm come against my own. I can't lie. I can't pretend I'm some femme he's in love with. I lean back, swallowing hard and gripping the bowl that he had given me. All I have to do is smash it against his helm, knock him out, and then I'll have the time to think and work out how the hell to get these chains off!  
"A fire…?" I whisper, optics still on his as I feel my breath shaking. He's so close to me. His lips are almost against mine, and I can feel the heat coming from him. My hand's so close, so close to gripping the bowl, and I curl my fingers against the rim.

"A fire," he repeats, lips almost touching now. "I'm so sorry, my love. I never meant to hurt you. I won't let it happen again," he says, optics dimming, and as I feel his lips press against mine, my optics widen, hand clutching the bowl and lifting it.  
_Smash!_  
The mech groans, a hand going to the side of his helm. I scramble as fast as I can, unable to pick the bowl back up as it's broken into pieces. However, I grab a shard, pointing it at him. Damnit, he wasn't knocked out. But it was enough to cause him to bleed.  
"You whore!" he hisses, optics narrowed and burning now. Oh, no, I've really pissed him off now. I swallow hard, pointing the shard at him. He just looks at me and laughs, as if it's nothing to him. It won't be nothing when I add a fatal scar to his putrid spark-chamber!

"Stay back!" I yell, my voice shaken, my chest panting. "I don't know who the hell you are, and I don't care, but I am _not_ your dead bitch girlfriend!" I snap viciously. He just looks at me, those intense optics burning into my own. "Let me go, you sick, twisted bastard! I'll kill you if I have to!"

Fangs peek from his mouth as he laughs, pushing himself up. I watch closely as he looks to his fingertips, seeing the small amount of blood that's leaked from where I smashed the bowl against his helm. "I always did like them feisty," he drawls. That's certainly a different voice I hear, and it makes me shudder, my oil running cold.  
"What do you think you're going to do? Kill me? You can scream as much as you want," he informs, his arms coming out. "Go ahead… I dare you."

My jaw goes tight, and I realise he's right. I'm stuck in here anyway. If I killed him, how the hell would I get out of here? I don't know where the keys are! The best thing I have is my voice, and so I scream at the top of my pumps! "Somebody help me! Help! You sick fuck!" I yell. He only laughs, which makes me break, falling to my knees. I still clutch the piece of ceramics, though, tears streaming down my face. "You bastard! Let me go! I didn't do anything to you! Primus, please! Help me!"

A dark chuckle comes from the mech. "Primus isn't going to save you now," I hear him say, nothing but detest in his voice. "You're pathetic to think a fake god would ever put his children before himself. He's not worth the fucking effort."

It was a lie! Primus was not fake! He was real! Every Cybertronian knew he was real! So they didn't all believe in my faith, but right now, it was all I could do. Pray to him to save me. Help me! Let me out of here alive!  
I cried into my hands, sobbing harshly. "Please…" I say, drool coming from my mouth. "Please let me go. I'll do anything for you! Anything! Take my virginity! Take my credits! Please!" At that moment, I hear something buzz on the table. Oh, no, it's my phone! I look up in horror, seeing the mech's helm turn to the bag on the bench a few cyber-metres away. It was Rem! She was looking for me!

Leaning over, he takes the phone, reading the name on it. He then looks at me before leaning over and grabbing something. In horror, I look at the barrel of the nail gun pointing at me. Oh, please no! Please don't shoot me!  
"Tell her you're fine. You just have a hangover from your drinking last night," he says almost too calmly. "If you don't, then you can kiss your life goodbye. What's another dead you in the pile already made?"

I can feel my bottom lip quivering, and I swallow hard, dropping the piece of bowl as he commands me to. Opening the phone, he places it gently to my audio. I hear Rem on the other side, saying a hello to me. "Y-yeah, I'm fine," I say, trying to put on my strongest voice.

_"You don't sound fine. Are you sure everything's okay? What happened to you last night? Did you go home with that mech?"_

I look up, Megatron's optics burning into mine, giving me silent orders. "No," I say, shaking my helm, as if I was actually having a real conversation with my best friend. "He ended up leaving, said he had work early. We had a few drinks, though, and you know how much of a lightweight I am. I had to take a tram home… I'm sorry, Rem, I've just got a really bad hangover. I don't feel much like talking."

Rem laughs on the other side of the phone. It's actually comforting. It makes me want to cry, though. Having to lie to her? It was so easy for me to just tell her the truth, that I was being held hostage. But I take one look at the nail gun that's jabbed into my neck and know I can't risk saying anything. _"Okay, babe, I'll catch you later! Eat something warm, it'll help!"_

The phone is hung up as it's pulled away from my audio. I can feel tears running down my optics once more. "Why are you doing this to me…?" I cried, looking up at the mech.

"Because it's all you do to me," he answers. I look back at him, shock on my face. What the hell was that supposed to mean! I didn't do anything to him! I did nothing but be nice last night! I wasn't some fucking whore who betrayed him! I wasn't whoever he was thinking I was!

I grow angry, my hands going tight once more, and I feel my fist lift up. It's stopped in mid-motion, though, his hand tight around my wrist. And then all of a sudden, I feel his lips crashing against my own. My optics widen, feeling his tongue slip past my own. I struggle, but his hands take both of my wrists, shoving them into my lap. I'm trapped, and I can't pull away from the brutal kiss—forced to return it.  
I don't know what to do. I've actually never been kissed before! And now, I'm being brutally pashed by some fucking psycho! A psycho who is incredibly attractive. Who has… amazing lips… Oh, Primus, was it so wrong to actually think that this felt good!? My first kiss; and it's by my kidnapper! I feel utterly ashamed.

"Ahh, fuck," he says, pushing away from me. He stands, breathing hard, and I can see just how excited he's become. Please, no! Please don't rape me! It's all I can hear my mind saying. That no, he's not going to do that. He's not going to take the most sacred thing from me. Please, Primus! Please don't let him!  
He swallows hard, wiping the back of his palm against his mouth. "You have no idea what you do to me, Char," he says, and I wince at hearing that name again. He leans back, running a hand against the front of his helm, as if I've affected him more than anything in the world has before.

As he walks away, picking up his 'medication', I just stare, hearing a door slam closed. Wait, so there's a door here somewhere!? But it wasn't the one he had come in from… Which only meant one thing. There was another room. It had a purpose. Did he live here? Did he sleep here? Was it a bathroom? My spark sinks as my hands fall to the floor, breathing hard as I try to take everything in.  
I shudder, feeling tears run down my cheeks again. I feel so weak. So fucking pathetic. I wish I had my pendant, all I want to do it pray. Pray to Primus that I'll be okay. If he was so in love with this Char, then why hadn't he taken me yet? Why did he walk away? Did she have that much control over him? Maybe that's what I could do! Maybe I could control him!  
I look at the shards of ceramics that are spread across the floor. He'd taken the nail gun with him, so it was nowhere in sight. But I moved one of the shards and hid it beneath the mattress that was to be my sleeping quarters. I huddled up into a ball, feeling disgusting. Like dirt. Like he'd already raped me of my dignity.  
I cried myself to sleep.

**Author's comment:**

****Part two. :) I'm actually really enjoying writing this. I hope I can continue with a good pace.

Arkona's actually pretty smart, although she can do some foolish things. Gotta remember she's pumped with fear and adrenaline. She's also pretty strong. Here you can see how strong she is, and how much she can actually think and try and stand up for herself, even if she's kidnapped and could die. She's going to go down with a fight.

Of course, you also see Megatron's side. clearly he's not right in the head here. This is the time he started getting on drugs and drinking a lot. It's also the time he was taking different kinds of medications/the wrong ones for his condition. So he's very... not right in the head.

Yes, she looks like Char in colour. Which is the main reason he's pretty fucked up over this. If this were someone who reminded him of his mother, they'd be beaten, tortured, raped and killed by now. Things are different this time. Arkona isn't any victim. To Megatron, she's Char. And his darker side is definitely making him do some serious shit


	3. Chapter 3

Part III

**Day Two: **

I didn't know what the time was. I didn't know how long I had been in here. All I knew was that I was cold, and it was empty inside. I'd heard Megatron leave a while after he'd come out of the mysterious room inside the warehouse. He didn't speak to me; he just walked away and left. Probably went home for the night. To sleep in his comfortable berth, while I was here, stuck on a cold, filthy mattress for a berth.  
I shuddered, trying to hug myself. Surprisingly, I had gotten a fair amount of stasis through the night. Not that I could tell it was night. I must have just been that mentally and physically exhausted that I crashed. I didn't think it be possible for anyone to fall in stasis while being held prisoner by some psychotic maniac, but somehow… I managed.  
Maybe part of me thought he really wouldn't hurt me? Did I trust him? About as much as how far I could throw him. No way did I trust him! There was definitely something wrong with him, though. I had to ask myself, why were the sexy, hot ones always crazy or gay? I frowned, slamming my hands against the side of my helm. No! I had to stop thinking like that! He was crazy! Insane! But the kiss he gave me yesterday certainly did linger on my lips.  
My tongue traced out a little, licking my bottom lip, tasting where he had been against me. I could still smell him on my skin. And I hated it! I wanted to rip my own armour off. Then that would just risk him seeing me naked, and I definitely didn't want that. The thought of that made my cheeks go red as I tightened the grasp I had on myself.  
I lay there for more cycles on end. I don't know how long it was before I heard a noise, making me perk up on my hands and knees. My spark tightened, and all I could think of was maybe the silence wasn't such a bad thing. It was better than being raped or mutilated or something horrific.  
No, that wasn't going to happen! I try to stay calm, seeing my kidnapper come through the door. So, that was the door. I take a mental note on that, seeing the keys looped around his neck on a lanyard. This time, he's wearing all of his armour. I wonder how large this place actually is. Is this just a room inside another room? Was this the mech's actual house, and I was just in his basement or something?  
I have so many questions that I want answered! And yet, I doubt he'd ever outright tell me. Then again, if I remind him of this femme he apparently loves, then maybe I really can manipulate him… At least if I did, I could keep safe. And I really… _didn't_ want to be raped or murdered. Or tortured, or mutilated.

Walking into my sight, I see he's got something in his hands. A bag of something. He falls to my level, making me crawl back a little in pure instinct. Once more, my spark rate is going through the roof. "I brought you something," he says, his voice sounding as soft as ever. No kidnapper should ever speak this gently. It was unfair. He was the one doing the wrong thing, he should be nervous, not me!

I look at the bag. "What is it?" I ask. "Where did you go last night? What's in that room!? What did you do!? Why did you walk away from me!?" I don't even realise I'm spitting these questions out at him. "What do you want from me!?"

Smiling, Megatron lifts his hand to my cheek, and I move away, seeing him frown. "You should learn how to appreciate your host more, femme," he hisses, picking the bag up. Wait, no! I wanted to know what was in there!

"Megatron! Wait!" I hear myself saying, without being able to stop myself. No, why would I want anything from him!? But something is urging me to take anything I can get and make it into some kind of weapon! "I didn't mean to yell at you… I just… I have so many questions…" I can't believe I'm actually even talking to him this way.

Returning to me, he crouches once more, dropping the bag in front of me. "That's a good femme," he says. "If you're good, you will be rewarded." I feel disgusting, like I'm not really anything good, I'm just some sick pet of his. "You will see what is in the next room once you open your present." He nudges it towards me, wearing a rather pleased smile. But his optics were hopeful, like a child… Like a child that was awaiting praise from a teacher or parent. It's unnerving. I feel a bit sick to the stomach.

Gently, I lift my hands, tugging on the bag and opening it up. I place a single hand inside, feeling something plastic. I pull it out, seeing the container. It's a cleanser. Actually, it's not just any cleanser, it's a super expensive cleanser, one that is a brand name and everything from one of the famous Cybertronian models. It's very feminine. Actually, it's probably the most expensive gift anyone has ever bought me. And it's from my fucking kidnapper! How flattering… Not.  
I look up, my breath shaking as I look at him. He simply nudges for me to look inside further. So I put the cleanser to my side, opening the bag once more. This time, I feel something different. A chain. I pull it out, looking at it. "Why are you doing this for me…?" I ask, my voice shaken. Cleanser? To clean myself and make myself look all clean and pretty? And then some kind of necklace? Who the hell did he think he was!? Giving me such sweet gifts just to turn around and leave me here, trapped and alone whenever he pleased!

The mech before me simply takes the necklace from my hands, moving closer to me. I pull back as he comes closer, but then he stops. "I'm not going to hurt you," he reassures, making my optics furrow. I don't know why, but I allowed him to do it, and I felt his hands go against my still bruised neck, around the collar, placing the necklace on. Well, it wasn't like I could say no anyway. He'd just strangle me or beat me or something…  
"You don't remember it?" he asks, looking down to the symbol. "You gave it to me when I was just a child. It means 'good luck' in Ancient Cybertronian," he informs me. That makes me a little surprised, my optics falling down to the symbol that is now laced around my neck. The irony… I'd certainly need some luck to get the hell out of here.

"I… must have forgot," I lied, looking back up. "And the cleanser? Why give it to me here? Not like I can have a shower with all these chains on."  
Megatron's optics narrow, and I feel myself bite down on my tongue. I was doing it again. I was being bitchy, which I knew was just spiked by my fear, anger and confusion. He stands up. Wait… he's walking away from me!? What did I do!?  
"I'm sorry!" I yell, desperate to get answers now. "I'm sorry…" I whisper, seeing him turn back around. He walks back to me, and I feel his hand gently caress my cheek. "Can I please have a shower?" I ask. If anything, it'll give me time to think, and maybe a means of escape. Maybe it'll be like one of those movies, where the femme always asks to go to the bathroom and crawls out the window. I can only pray that's what it's like!

"You do look in the need of one," he says, moving closer to me. He runs his hand down my shoulder, and I can feel it trail down my frame. I swallow hard. "I will take you there." Now I go stiff, feeling myself burn. I hope that doesn't mean what I think it does! Please don't! "Don't be shy," he says, a gentle smile across his face. "If you wish, I can leave you to clean yourself alone. But only this one time. I'm going to trust you, Char."

Argh, that name! Who the hell was this poor femme that had to suffer his wrath? I try to ignore the anger that's welling up inside of me. Did he lock her down in some warehouse, too, make her his doll and then burn her house to the ground?  
I try not to make any sudden movements as I see him unloop the lanyard from around his neck. He removes it, grabbing one of the keys. I make sure to see which one, just in case I can take him down one of these days. I'll have to remember the key. He then unshackles the collar and my ankle, letting me free. To my disappointment and despair, he keeps the ones around my wrist on. Well, he's not completely stupid then, is he?  
Slowly, I'm lifted as he takes my arm, and for a moment, all I can think about is sweet freedom. But I know I can't just yet. I don't even know where the door is. The room seems to look like nothing but steel slabs for a wall. Damnit… the place was soundproof! No wonder he was telling me I could scream as loud as I could yesterday. I feel just a little part of me die at that newfound knowledge.  
I stay silent, making sure to look around as much as I can, to see if I can pick up anything. There are multiple tools in the room. Ones that I could definitely use to try and cut into my chains if he left me alone for the night again.  
He makes sure to hold me close, and I can feel him watching me. He doesn't trust me. I know he doesn't. Not when he's watching me that intently. I need to gain his trust, so maybe he'll let me walk around unchained. Even if I'm stuck inside, all I need to do is take him down and steal the keys from around his neck.  
My optics widen as I catch something that we move past. Oh, Primus, it was some kind of sick harness. I feel my oil run cold, my spine shuddering. It looks like it's covered in dried oil or something. I swallow hard, trying to ignore the strange things in this place. It was a fucking torture chamber, and all I can think is that it's going to be the death of me.  
As the door opens, I realise the room he walked into last night after kissing me is a bathroom. It's, to my surprise, very clean. It looks new. Maybe he just had it installed? Maybe he slept here sometimes, and needed a bathroom? I am a little worried as I see there's no toilet and just a urinal on the wall. How the hell am I supposed to go in that!?  
"I… I need to use the toilet… don't you have anything… for femmes?" I ask, my voice shaken. The door behind me closes, and I jump at the noise, hands going tight. His hands are on my shoulders, and I swallow as I can feel his breath against my nape, the cleanser in his left hand, pressed against me.

"Sorry, it's just been installed. I wasn't expecting any company. You can… do your thing in the shower if you need to," he explains. I frown a little as he speaks. 'Do your thing'? Was he really shy about saying the word pee? A crazy mech, who was holding me hostage, and he couldn't even say 'pee'.

I shudder. "How old are you, Megatron?" I ask. It was just a curious question. I turn around, looking at him boldly. After all, if I'm going to go down, then I'm going to go down with a fight! Primus, he's tall. I only come up to the bottom of his chest. That was with my armour on. I may have light pedes, bit my armour did make me taller.

He looks at me curiously, as if I'm supposed to know the answer. "Thirty," he states, still in front of me. This time, I feel his hands go against my helm, his optics looking deep into my own. I want to pull away, but I can't. He's too strong. Oh, Primus, why did I have to ask for a shower!?  
"You… are so… tempting," he almost strains to say. I can see his fangs showing as his jaw goes tight, like he's trying to fight some invisible force between us, and I feel his hands leave me, making my body relax like no tomorrow. For a moment there, I honestly thought I was in some serious trouble. Am I supposed to apologise for that!? It's nice to know he finds me attractive, but why him!? Why did I have to attract the fucking weirdos!? Why couldn't he just be a regular, tall, sexy mech? Why the one that kidnaps femmes and probably chops them up into little pieces to eat or something?  
He breathed heavily, and takes a step away from me. I actually feel a little offended. Is something _wrong_ with me!? "I'll come back when I think you've had enough time," he says, and all of a sudden, I'm stuck in the room by myself, the cleanser now in my hands as he'd shoved it into them.

Staring at the door, my optics are wide, my body shaking from how intense the last few seconds have been. However, I soon realise that this is my chance for escape! Quickly (dropping the cleanser to the floor), I turn around, running to the wall as if to feel for a loose plate. I tap my fingers against them all, trying to see anything! There's no window! Not even a vent for the steam to go! Oh, Primus, I'm stuck! I'm trapped!  
Quickly, I turn on the shower so it seems like I'm inside it from outside the door. I don't know what he's doing out there, and I don't want to know! For all I care, I hope he's fucking dying from lack of oil in his head, considering he's clearly got a hard-on over me. Did I just think that? I feel my cheeks blush once more. No time for that!  
Running to the sink that's in there, I open the drawers, as if something useful is actually going to be in there. To my surprise, they're… completely empty… I silently scream to myself, my hands cupping my face. No! No, there has to be some kind of way!  
I hear myself sob, even though it's drowned out by the noise of the flowing water. It's getting warm in here, and all I can do it sink to the floor, crouched as I cry into my arms. Please, Primus, don't let this happen to me! There's got to be a way out!  
Warm tears stream rivers down my cheeks, and I feel absolutely helpless. There's nothing I can do. Not here, anyway. And I look at the necklace that is around my bruised neck. I rip it off, breaking it and tossing it across the room. I would _not_ wear anything he gave to me! Never! Anything from him was tainted! He was disgusting! I was trapped in this hellhole. I was going to be nothing but his victim. And all I can do is cry into my weak arms.  
I don't know how long I'd been sobbing. It had to have been a good few breems, but I jump as I hear the door open, trying to wipe down my tear-streaked face. It was stupid of me to have expected anyone else, like the cops having raided the place or something. But I did perk up, only to see Megatron. He looks to the floor, where I'd dropped the cleanser. And suddenly, I feel like I'm a child, going to get into trouble off her father. Except a younger father… and one that was actually attractive.

I can sense he's angry. I think he's trying to supress it, but I can tell by the way he's standing. His hands were tight, his optics were burning. And I could tell his jaw was clenched. "You ungrateful femme," he hisses at me, and I feel myself sink to the floor. Please don't yell at me! Can't he tell I'm already upset!? Aren't the tears enough!? Just let me the fuck go, you sick prick!  
He picks up the cleanser from the floor, walking over to me and grabbing my arm. I yelp as he yanks me up, almost pulling my arm out of its socket.

"Ah! You're hurting me!" I cry, being shoved into the shower. My hands fall against the wall, the water spraying down against me.

"Good! Then you know your place!" he yells. But then his optics go to my neck. I stiffen in horror as I realise I'd broken what he gave to me. Oh, shit… My face is forced to the side, his hand having slapped me across my now burning cheek. Instantly, my hand goes to my cheek, optics and mouth wide open.  
"You _dare_ defy my order!?" he snaps, closing the door to the shower. He picks up the broken necklace, clutching it into his hand. "I did this for you! Only you! And you go ahead and break my spark again?" He really seems hurt, and I just stare at him, shocked. What the hell was I supposed to say to that!?

"I'm sorry! I'm not who you want me to be!" I yell, unable to keep my emotions inside anymore. "Please, just let me go! I don't want to be here anymore!" My voice turns weak and shaken as I sob once more, falling to the bottom of the shower. "Please…!" I yell, optics clenched now. Why was he doing this to me!? Why was he so cruel and yet so kind at the same time!?  
Hearing the door open, I clutch against myself, fearing the worst. Instead, I feel a hand on my shoulder, and a soothing noise. How the hell am I to stop crying!? I don't know why Primus is making me suffer this! I don't know why this mech is keeping me here! All I want is answers! Why!?

"Shh, don't cry," I hear him say, though still unable to stop the tears from running down my face. This is so humiliating, but I'm so scared at the same time! I just don't know what to do! I miss my family! I miss my mum and dad, my friends! I just want to be with them, feeling them against me. Instead, the only comfort I can get is from the mech who has just slapped me across the face.  
Megatron's hand moves to the side of my cheek, I try to fight it, but he's too strong, bringing my chin up to look at him. His optics have gone soft, much different from mere seconds ago where they were blazing. "I didn't mean to hurt you, I was just angry." He looks down to the chain that's broken in his hands, and I can't help but feel guilty to what I've done to something he clearly holds dear to him. It looks like he's having some kind of internal debate with himself, and before I know it, his lips are against mine once more.  
Again, the urge is there, to push him away from me, but I feel so weak and helpless that I just let it happen. I have no energy to push him away; it would merely be a waste. And I needed all the energy I had. So one day, I could escape, and I could kill this bastard.  
He stands up, and I feel myself go limp. "You may have your shower." The cleanser it put on the floor of the shower, and the next thing I hear, the door is being opened and closed once more.

Sitting there, I just gaze at the cleanser that he's given me. I sit there, tight in a ball, not knowing what to do. Was this going to be my life from now on? Being trapped inside, in this dark warehouse? No one to see? No more friends? No more family? All I can do it weep once more, and so that's what I did, curling into myself on the floor of the running shower.

*****  
I'm still in my armour, but a towel is wrapped around me gently. I feel Megatron's hands against my frame. I tense, but at least I wasn't naked. At least he didn't make me undress for my shower, and I silently thank Primus for that. Still, I can't help but feel embarrassed and uncomfortable as he dries me off like I'm some kind of child.

He comes to the front of me, looking down at me and tapping me on the nose. I jump, my breath hitching. He just chuckles. A friendly noise, and for some reason, I feel actually comforted to hear something nice rather than the creepy silence of this place. "You looks much nicer now," he murmurs, his hand soft against my warm cheek. Something inside me wishes to hold onto the only comfort I have in this place, but another part of me wants to bite his hand and tell him to piss off.  
The towel is tugged a little tighter over my shoulders, and I just look at him. "Is something wrong?" he asks me, a general concern in his voice. What a fucking lie. He doesn't care about me! All he wants is power over me!

I want to scream 'yes', that something is wrong. So _many_ things are wrong about what he is doing here! I'm a femme! I'm a Cybertronian! He best damn well treat me like one, instead of some experimental lab rat! I mentally hiss.  
"Why are you keeping me here?" I ask, my optics hard on his. I'm tired of feeling weak. I'm tired of feeling scared. It's time I take matters into my own hands! He better fucking answer me… or else I'll… Okay, I had nothing, but damnit, I'd put up a fight this time! I'd be the last damn femme he ever saw!

He stops, hands moving away from me. "Where else would I keep you?" he asks, arching an optic ridge. He smirks, giving off a much darker laugh than the previous one. And it seems like there's a completely different mech before me. "It's femmes like you that break families," he seethes, and I can do nothing but look at him in surprise. What!?

"You bastard! I'm a good femme!" I snap, my hands going tight around the towel. The chains are still on me, but the collar and ankle cuff isn't. "I've never hurt anyone! Why are you doing this to me!? I'm a virgin! I'm faithful! I'd never break any kind of family up!"

My cheeks are taken, and I feel his hand tighten, making my lips pucker up. He comes in close, and I can hear a low growl come from the back of his throat, like he's some kind of animal. "You will _not_ raise your voice at me!" he sneers, and I feel myself being tossed to the ground. I fall in a heap, the towel still on me.  
"You think I'm going to reward such bad behaviour? You're far from correct," he tells me, my optics widening. I remember the piece of ceramics I have under my berth, and all I can do is think how quickly can I get there and stab this fucker?  
"Now, be a good femme, and I will treat you the way you wish to be, but if you refuse to see your place, then I _will_ kill you. Trust me, you're not the first femme to be here," he says, dark pride in his husky voice. This was definitely a completely different personality I had seen from him. How could someone go from calm and nice to absolute psycho in one second!?

I shudder, looking up at him with terrified optics. "You sick fuck!" I yell. I quickly push myself to my pedes, dropping the towel to the ground, and I run as fast as I can. It feels so unreal, like a dream! Like everything is slowing down! But I'm almost there. I lift the mattress up with surprising strength (probably from my adrenaline levels), and I grab the shard, however, I'm soon thrown back as his arms are around my waist.  
"No!" I yell, kicking and squirming. I hear him grunt and hiss as I thrash myself around. My hand is stretched out, unable to keep a hold on the shard, and I hear it clatter to the floor. "You sick fucker! Let me go! Fucking let me go!" I scream at the top of my pumps.

Hitting the floor, I wince, feeling angry tears slip from my optics. And then he's on top of me, I can feel his heated stomach on my back, and I cry out in pain and frustration, my hands being forced flat to the floor as his hands take them, slamming them onto the ground to keep me pinned.  
His breathing is ragged, but it also seems excited. "Hnn-I love it when you run," he whispers almost seductively into my audio. My body's shaking, both from terror and rage. I actually turn my helm and try to spit on him. It misses, but it gets him angry enough to squeeze my wrists, making my back arch as I cry out in pain.  
"Don't you get it!? You're not going anywhere! I lost you too many times to let you out of my sight now!" he says through clenched denta. "I will _never_ let you go! You are _mine_ now. What do I have to do to prove that to you, femme!?"

Feeling his racing spark-beat against my back, I cry, making a horrible noise as words won't form. What the hell can I say!? I'm not this mech's property! Everything I say just makes him angry. What's the point in fighting anymore!? If I disobey him, I'm going to get killed. If I play as his doll, at least I might have some kind of life! But what kind of a life would that be!? But suicide isn't an option. I'd be condemned. But if I didn't do anything, I may as well already be condemned.  
"Please…!" I beg, optics glazed now, dirt against me from the floor of the warehouse. So much for having a shower. "Please let me go..." This time, my voice is nothing but a hopeless whisper. He's not going to let me go, and I know this now. I'm going to be stuck here forever… I'll die here. I'll die sick, hungry, alone, and away from everyone I ever loved. Not to mention I'll die never having experienced love at all. How sad, to die a virgin. A lonely virgin.

I feel warm lips go against the back of my neck, and I feel like I want to scream again, and this time never stop. But I can't. I just don't have the will or the energy. And so I let him. I let him kiss and soothe me in his own special, crazy… fucked up way.  
"Shh, you're going to be fine," he tells me, and all I can do is actually try and believe him. I don't want to, but I need something to hold onto. Maybe his words are the only thing I can really cling onto. That he's not going to hurt me. That's he's going to take actual care of me. I feel so lost and worthless. I just want to die. I'd never felt so lonely before, and so I just let his lips continue to plant against me, and eventually, I feel his hands let go of mine, pulling me up into his lap.  
"I love you," he whispers in my audio. There's so many things that run through my head as I hear those words. He doesn't love me! He thinks I'm someone else he used to love! I just pray my family is out looking for me. And I sit there and take it, his hand running down my shoulder and to my hip. I'm just too weak to fight it. The sooner he's had his way with me, the sooner I'll be left alone to wallow in my own self-pity once more.  
I'm surprised as he slips me gently onto the berth, though, standing up. "I would never hurt you, Char. Never on purpose. You drive me crazy, in so many ways that you just don't know." He bites his lip, and I look away, unable to look at him while he's so aroused. "There's so many things I want to do to you. You make me so… _fucking hard_. Like I wanted to hear that. Where the hell did he get his pickup lines from? This wasn't charming. It was disgustingly creepy. "But I can't hurt you like that. I can't do the things he tells me to."

My optics narrow, my helm turning back to him. Who? There was someone else involved!? Oh, Primus, was this just some sick show for someone else to watch? Were these walls a two-way fucking mirror!?  
I swallow, my tear streaked face looking at him. "W-who…?" I ask, more terror rising in me. I didn't think it was possible to be even more scared than I was. But I was wrong. My spark was thumping hard in my chest as I thought of someone else watching this and getting their kicks out of it. How could someone be that cruel not to help me!?

Megatron smirks, leaning down once more, his hands between his crouched knees. "He wouldn't want me to talk about it," he says in a whisper, though grinning once more to show those flawless teeth of his. "Here's a hint, though."

I yelp as something is tossed to me. It's an empty pill container. I read the label. "Y-you're…. schizophrenic?" I ask, my optics looking up to him as I swallow. Oh, great… no wonder he was fucking nuts! At least there's no other real mech… it's just whatever the fuck is in his head. Probably more terrifying, actually…

"No!" he snaps, as if offended, and snatching the container from me. I am taken aback, making a soft noise as he took it from me. It was always the crazy ones that denied they were really crazy. "I told you already that I don't like taking it, it fucks my head up," he said rather snappily as he stood back up.

"Then why do you take them if you're not sick?" I ask, almost demanding he answer.

"Because without them, you'd be dead," he answers as a-matter-of-fact, his voice having gone dark once more. At that, my mouth peers open a little, and I swallow hard. "I killed you when I went off them. I killed others when I went off them. Yes, they fuck me up, but I will not kill you if I'm taking them. And to make sure of that, I take a few."

Sounded more like an addiction than anything else. However, I was now worried that the container was empty. "W-what would you do if you ran out?" Of course, I already know the answer. He'd kill me. And I nudge to the empty container.

Showing his pearly fangs, Megatron grabs something from the bench he's in front of. "Uh-oh…" he says, as if he's a kid. "Looks like I'll need a new prescription… No matter, I've got these." He flips out a small bag which has a needle in it. He's a drug addict!? Oh, for the love of… Could things honestly get worse? Actually, they probably could… considering every time I thought that, I found out something new and as equally horrifying.

Watching as he takes the syringe from the bag, I gasp as he stabs it into his wrist, giving off a loud and satisfying sigh. I could have screamed at having to watch that, but part of me is actually horrified at how fucked up this mech just is.

"And now comes the fun part…" Moving towards me, I lean back a little bit, my optics widening. I hear a clip, and I realise he's put the cuff around my ankle once more. He then brushes the back of his knuckles against my cheek before clipping the collar back on. I deflate at that, frowning. Once more, I was trapped. I mean, I was trapped anyway, but at least I could have walked around if he forgot. I could have had some kind of freedom and maybe even escaped. Even though I'm starting to believe I'll never find a way out of here.

"W-what are you going to do to me?" I whisper, my hands clutching the mattress beneath me. He leans in, and I feel his hand go against my chest. I gasp, almost slapping his hand away. How dare he touch me like that!?

"Shh, I'm not going to hurt you," he promises, his optics beginning to haze over from the drug he'd taken. I then yelp as he takes my wrist, forcing it against his blistering crotch. Please no! I'm horrified, and disgusted at the same time. Once again, all I can think of is him raping me.  
"Nn-you're so fucking hot when you're shy." His voice is beginning to tremble, and I'm forced to open his cod-piece. I feel something fleshy go against my palm, and I almost gag, wishing I could vomit. He wraps my palm around it, and I turn my head in disgust at how thick it is. I can't see it, but Primus, he's packed! I don't need optics to know that.

I hear him give a moan as I'm forced to take the cable, my hand being guided by his own as he makes me basically give him a hand job. But I can't take it anymore! I can't be used like this! "P-please don't…" I say, my head still turned the opposite way. Apparently I've got his attention, because my hand it brought to a halt.

"Are you disgusted in me?" I hear him say, and I look at him. How I wish I could say yes! How I wish I could say he was the most disgusting mech in the word, but there's something holding me back. His voice. It's gone… soft again, like I've hurt his feelings. If I make him angry, I just know he'll flip out again, and this time he probably _would_ rape me.

"No," I lie, my optics getting a glance of his mass. I swallow hard, feeling myself blush once more. "I just… I'm a virgin," I tell him. "I've never done… anything like this before." Once more, I feel his hand on my cheek as he caresses it gently, looking into my light optics. He's definitely high now.

A smile comes across his face, as if he's trying to comfort me. "You will learn," he says, bringing his helm to mine. He then puts his lips to my fore-helm before standing up. He walks away, grabbing his cod-piece and out of sight. I hear the door open and close, and in a few silent moments, I hear him overload from the bathroom. He just masturbated over me. I don't know whether to feel horrified of flattered…

**Author's Comment:**

Yep, not you get a sense of just how fucked up Megatron really is at the moment. His mind's a bit all over the place. And you can see how quickly he goes from calm to absolute furious within a split second. Mood swings XD

And of course, you see Arkona finally breaks and cries in the bath/shower there. She's strong, but she's just like any one else. She's scared.


	4. Chapter 4

Part IV

**Warning: This chapter contains sexual violence.**

**Day Twelve:**

Finally, Megatron had given me a clock. Well, had put one in sight for me anyway, so now I could count the days. I didn't know what day it was of the cyber-week, but I'd been keeping a tally in the dirt with my fingers. Now I knew if it was a.m. or p.m. At least it gave me a sense of how long I had been here. Twelve solar-cycles…  
Megatron had given me energon and let me shower more often. In fact, after his… sexual release, he'd acted like quite the gentlemech. He'd let me ask questions about him, and he'd answered them to his full potential. He still acted like I was this Char femme, but honestly… I was starting to wish I was. If I was, I'd know this mech on a much more personal level. He obviously had cared for her a lot. Especially with how polite he was being to me.  
There had been a few times he'd come in and seemed angry. But at the sight of me, on the floor on my tattered mattress which soon felt like it was becoming my home, he'd calmed down right away. He said that when I was in the room, there was no need to be angry.  
I'd learnt a few things about him now. Where he grew up, which was Kaon. A little about his parents, and that his father really had been considered dead in duty in a mining accident, even though they never found his body. His work. And that he'd been locked away. I only found that out because he was explaining to me how sorry he was to not see me for such a long time. And by me, I mean Char. But either way. I think I was most thankful about him not raping me that one night… I now thanked Primus that the only thing he made me do was touch his cable.  
Hearing the door open, I looked up from my station. I was still limited to the berth. He said he trusted me, but he didn't want to risk losing me again, which was why I was being kept here. What else could I do? I'd tried to make him trust me into letting me loose, but he just wouldn't. Or more so, he said he couldn't. Whoever this Char was, he deeply loved her.  
By now, I was actually… happy to get any kind of company. My phone had rung multiple times during the first few days, but Megatron had taken the battery out, saying that they'd take me away from him if I answered it. And he couldn't have that. So I had no one to talk to. But Megatron. And as the days dragged on, I was more than happy to at least talk to anyone that was real.  
I know, it sounds crazy. Being happy that your kidnapper was back. But it was boring without him. He made the day more interesting. I'd told myself over and over again to not think like that, but it was hard not to. I was dying on the inside, and I was unable to have any other contact. The only contact I _have_ is Megatron. Do you know what it's like to have no one else in your life but your kidnapper? For twelve solar-cycles!? Sometimes I was _thankful_ that he'd talk to me. The days he didn't? It was just scary…  
Once more, he's topless, and this time, I allow my optics to trail down his strong, thick body. I hadn't seen him topless since my first night here. I'm actually a little surprised. But this time, I wasn't able to tear my optics away. He was so… deadly looking. For a virgin like myself, who had now—for the first time in her life—touched a mechs cable, I was beginning to wonder what it would feel like inside me. Not his exactly, I just meant in general.  
Of course, I didn't have feelings for the mech. That was just stupid. Who the hell falls for their kidnapper!? He was just… very, very good looking. It didn't help that he was being so nice to me lately, either. It just helped in the attraction. That's all it was. He was good looking. It was nothing more! It never would be! I continued to tell myself that over and over again.  
My optics follow him as he walks across the room. What this warehouse is for, I still don't know. I think he just does some repairs and upgrades here. It's probably also a safe place for his drug habit considering the mines don't allow drugs on the premises. I did notice he'd gotten more medication, though, which was a bit of a relief. As for why he was topless… I still didn't know. But I wanted to.  
I say his name, and he looks at me with those optics, as if they're pulling me in. "Is it hot out?" I ask. It's just my first guess to why he's topless. Considering he was a miner, I'm sure he'd be working hard all day. Still, wasn't it a safety hazard to be armourless down there?

"I just came back from the gym," he says to me, giving a small smirk. I think he can tell that I think he's attractive. I look away as he watches me, but I can hear him approaching me. Soon enough, he's right in front of me, and he crouches. I don't know why I don't stand. The first few days I was here, all I could do was pace and pace, trying to think of ways to get out of here. But as soon as Megatron came inside, I always fell to the floor. It felt a little degrading, to be honest, and it made me realise that, yes, he was in control. I was merely his dog…  
"But yes, it's quite hot out there." I think he reads my mind, because I'm surprised when he speaks next. "I know you miss being outside, Char, but I can't risk anyone seeing you. If they find you, they'll take you away," he says, this time quite desperately. He takes my hand, lifting it to his cheek and nuzzling it softly. I don't know what to feel. Confusion is definitely one. Sympathy, too. But I'm still so scared, and I long to be back with my family.  
"I can't lose you again," he whispers, kissing my fingers. My optics are on my hand, and I watch as those soft, curvy lips press against them. I feel myself flush, a hot flow running down my systems. "And I can't go back to that… place. I'll kill myself before I have to." This time, there's something else I hear inside his voice. Fear. He really is afraid of ever having to be locked up again. Primus, what the hell did they do to him to make him this fucked in the head?

But by keeping me here? Didn't he realise that he was doing the exact same thing to me that they did to him? I'm no animal! I don't belong in a cage! I look to his optics, my hand still against his lips. "You hypocrite," I whisper, shaking my helm.

"What? No…!" he says, his hands dropping my own.

I'm not forceful with my words, but they hold truth to them. And I know it hurts him. "You think you're making me happy here, Megatron? I'm dying in here. I need to go outside! I need the light! I'm not some animal that you can feed and shower when you wish! I need freedom! Just like you did…" My voice is still soft, but I know I have a seething tone.  
"You hated what they did to you. I don't know what they did, but… I can tell they screwed you up bad. What do you think will happen to me down here?" My optics look to his, and they're wide, with confusion and hurt. "You're treating me just the way they treated you. You're a hypocrite…"

I watch as he swallows, and he stands back up, taking a step away from me. "No… you're wrong!" he yells, his voice going rather high. He places a hand to the side of his helm and winces, as if he's got a stabbing pain in the side of his head. "I would never hurt you! They tortured me!" he spat, now pacing the room. I can hear he's uncertain about his words now, like he's having some kind of mental breakdown.  
"I love you! I'm keeping you safe! I promise! They'll take you away if they knew! They'd lock me up again and treat me like I'm sick! I'm not sick!" Now both of his hands are on the sides of his helm, and he's breathing heavily. I can see the sweat beginning to bead against his chest and neck. But he's also shaking. I just watch, unable to do anything else. I've never seen him act like this. I knew he was crazy, but this was something else. I actually feel sorry for him…!  
"No!" I hear him say, his voice going dark. "She's lying to you!" Whoa, wait—what!? What the fuck just happened!? My optics widen, my body going stiff as he looks at me, his optics dark. All I can see is hatred in them, a burning desire—rage. I don't even know! But I'm scared again.  
He moves towards me, and suddenly I'm choking, his hand around my throat—or what he could get of it considering the collar is still on me. "You filthy fucking bitch! You _deserve_ to be here! It's whores like you who make this world reek of worthlessness!"

My hands try and scratch at him, grabbing his wrist. "Gnn—Megatron! P-please!" I wheeze, my throat being crushed and bruised once more. Just as the last ones had healed, too.

"Please what?" he sneers, fangs bared as his hand tightens. "You deserve no mercy! All you do is torment and tease! And you think _you're_ the victim!? You're the sinner! Not I!"

"Please let me go! I'm s-sorry! I didn't m-mean it," I try and say, though it sounding contorted from him strangling me. I try and kick, struggling in his grip, and then all of a sudden, I'm dropped to the floor, falling on my aft. I gasp, my hands going to my neck. I try and suck in as much cool air as I can to keep my fans circulating from overheating, making me pant more and more.  
I then look up, Megatron's hand having covered his mouth. His optics are wide as he looks at me, like he didn't know what happened. "You almost _killed_ me, you fuck!" I yell, scrambling away from him and moving to the wall that was behind my mattress. There was no way I was letting that freak near me again!

I watch as his chest lifts up and down as he pants, sweat dripping from him. "I… I have to go," he whispers, taking a few steps back before he walks from the room. I hear the door slam closed, and I know he hasn't just gone to the bathroom. This time, he's actually left.

Breathing heavily, I let my hands gingerly go over my neck once more, wishing that I could get the collar off me. Great, now I was going to be bruised for a cyber-week again. Finally, I settle down, even though I'm horrified once more. What the hell had I just experienced?  
Megatron had told me he wasn't schizophrenic. So I had to ask myself, why the fuck was he being diagnosed to take medication for it? Schizophrenics talked to the voices, but that wasn't just a voice I saw and heard. It was a whole other bloody entity inside that mech. Did he have a split personality? That would make sense. It would explain why he was so nice one moment, and the next he'd have a chronic mood-swing and hate me. Primus, he was worse than a femme. They clearly had different views. It would make sense to why he was locked up in the first place, though. He never did tell me why he was…  
I huddled in close to myself once more. For the first time, I had started to actually not mind the company of my 'host'. But now? What was I supposed to do? I didn't know what triggered the personality changes. Was I meant to just sit here and shut up like a 'good femme'? Could I even speak without being spoken to? I frowned, falling to the mattress once more.  
What more was there to do than sleep again? So that's what I did. Even if I was hungry.

**Day fourteen: **

I was shaking from my lack of energy. I was starving. I was surprised I was even alive. So I knew Cybertronians could last a cyber-week or so without any energon, but I felt like I was crippled, like if I moved, I'd just die from lack of energy. I was completely drained. Did Megatron forget I was here?  
I'd wanted to cry. So, so much. Unfortunately, I think I was all dried up. Even if I wanted to, I doubt I could. It was a waste of energy, too, and right now, I needed all the energy I could keep.  
Two solar-cycles had passed since I'd seen the mech. It was nearing the third, almost midnight. I was cold, I was hungry, and I was weak. I needed a shower, because I could smell that the warehouse was beginning to think I was its own property now, becoming just as still as any one of the instruments in here.  
I knew I'd die in here now. I'd prayed, whispered to myself so much, and to Primus. But by now, my lips were dry, and I don't think words could even come from my vocaliser. I didn't even realise the door opening when it did, and right now, I figured it was just my imagination playing games with me. Hoping that it was someone. Anyone! Even Megatron… By now, I was desperate, even for my kidnapper.  
Of course, the lights were still on—they always were. So it wasn't like I'd really know if someone came in here anyway, considering if it was night, they'd usually turn on the lights. Instead, the thing that I did notice was something warm being placed over me.  
I weakly look to the side, unable to move my helm all the way. I see two ebony hands placing a blanket over me, and I don't know what to think. Is it Megatron? I make a noise, but I don't think it comes out right. I don't even know what I'm trying to say.

"I'm so sorry," I hear that husky voice say, and I know it's Megatron now. I wish I could run away, but I'm just too weak. I can't even lift myself. You would have thought I'd been starving for cyber-weeks, but it's just been a few days. It's enough with the emotional trauma to make anyone fall, though.  
I feel his knuckles on my cheek, and then I feel something being pressed against my lips. "Drink it, you'll feel better." There's concern in his voice, as well as guilt. "I didn't forget you, I just… things have happened." What things? What things could have possibly made you leave your fucking pet starving inside her new home!?  
I cringe as I realise I'm calling myself his pet. I'm not his pet, but that's honestly how I feel he sees me. He says he loves me, but it's not me he really loves. It's Char. If he knew I was Arkona, he'd kill me. I'd be an imposter…  
He lifts me up, and I fall limp in his arms. Once more, I feel the cup against my lips, and this time, I drink like a greedy sparkling, taking as much of the sweet energy into my body. But he pulls back. I actually mewl, wanting more. He chuckles at that, which only makes me feel even more pathetic. But I'm dying for more. It's all I could manage to do.  
"Take it slow. You drink too much at once and you're just going to vomit it all back up, and then you'll need more hydration," he says, and I feel his lips against the back of my helm as I'm sitting in his lap, his other hand stroking me.

"I-I'm so… t-tired…" I whisper, it barely audible. I didn't hear or even feel the chains being lifted off me, but they must have been, because the next thing I know, I'm being picked up and am in his arms, against his chest. All I can do is lean into him for support, my optics clouded. I wanted more energon, so, so badly. But he was right. I'd definitely vomit if I drank any more.

I hear something rush into my audios, and I hear that it's water. I can't believe what I'm doing, but I curl into my captor's chest even more, knowing the water will be cold or too hot. Especially with how fragile I am right now. But to my surprise, (as the blanket is moved away from me and I'm gently placed into the water), I realise it's at a perfect temperature. Even if I'm still in the mech's arms.  
"Do you think you can stand?" he murmurs softly, adjusting me into his arms. I know I'm fairly light, but still, it feels like he could throw me with little to no strength, like he's the most powerful thing in the world right now. Or maybe it's just because I'm so utterly weak.

"I… don't know," I croak, really wishing I could have more energon. Inertia hits me as I feel my pedes going to the floor. However, my helm is still pressed against his chest, though it's lower now, considering I'm not in his arms—so to speak, considering I can still feel them around me. For the first time in a long time, I feel like he's actually my life saver. He's the one that brought me here, I know, but… he's still saved me from dying. He came back. He said he hadn't forgotten me.

Once more, I feel his hand against me. "I'm so sorry," he whispers, his helm coming down to meet mine. I look into his optics, and they seem upset. Like he should be punished for what he has done to me. And yet, I can't seem to be angry with him. He could have left me here to wither away and die, but he didn't.  
"I thought about you every second of the day," he tells me, his hand cupping my pallid cheek. "I wanted to come back. I tried to, but…" He frowns, and instead of answering me, I just feel his arms wrap around me, like he's clinging onto me for dear life. However, in him doing so, I'm unable to breath, wheezing and choking. He seems to feel or hear it, because the next thing I hear is another apology, his arms loosening.  
And then I feel something else. I feel his hands go to my hips, sitting there. I admit, I get rather nervous now, but at the same time, I'm clinging to him so I won't fall flat on my aft in the shower. I need his support. I'm too weak without more energon.

"M-Megatron…" I whisper, not realising what I'm even saying. For some reason, I can't seem to hate him. I'm supposed to hate him, right? For what he's done to me. Kidnapping me. Lying to me. Seducing me! Treating me like an animal… And yet, all I want to do is feel him against me.  
I've never had a mechfriend. Not even one. I wouldn't consider Megatron to be one either, but he says he loves me. He says such sweet things to me (most of the time). Sure, they can be a bit confusing, and definitely hidden in his own twisted way. He's also given me gifts. No one's ever given me something so expensive in my life. I learnt to cherish the small things in life, growing up in a rather poor household, but with Primus by my side. But now? I don't know what to think anymore… All I can think of is the mech before me, and I don't know why, but I feel my lips going closer to him, kissing his chest armour.  
Leaning in, I hear his spark-beat against my audio, my hands against his chest—still clinging on. Then I feel something else inside me, something wanting to be closer. And I can't help but look up into his gorgeous optics. They're looking back at me, and instead of crawling away like I usually did, I just stare back at him, the shower water running over us.

Inside his optics, he seems surprised, but there's something else. Like all of his dreams have come true as I'm showing him some form of small affection. And he leans down, slanting his head and making our lips touch. I'm too weak to pull away, and it feels so good. Not like the first time it happened, but like a thousand little explosions are happening against my tongue. It only heightens when his own tongue slips against mine.  
"You're so beautiful," he whispers, his lips still taking mine. I feel his hands on my back now, and my own hands have gone lower. I'm too shy to do anything else, though. However, I can feel his arousal against my stomach. He's so warm. I'm so cold…

Once more, the only thing I'm able to do is say his name. I don't know how it came out. Rude, harsh, tender, lovingly? I can't even really hear myself, all I can hear is this voice telling me I want more. I want more comfort. I want more warmth. I want… _Megatron!_  
My optics widen, and I feel my hands push against his chest. No! No, this is so wrong! He's a fucking murderer! He's a rapist! He's a kidnapper! My optics widen as I look at him, and he just seems confused. I can't do this! I would _not_ allow my weak mind and energon deprivation make me _want_ a mech like Megatron. Even if he was stunningly sexy…

"Don't fight it," I hear him say, and I just try and get out of his arms. He pulls me closer, though, and this time, his lips crash against mine brutally, his tongue going down my throat. I try and scream, even if it feels amazing, and his hands are against my aft now, having picked me up. I'm weak, but you'd be surprised how much strength you can muster from fear and adrenaline.

"Get off me!" I command, pushing him once more. From my struggle, I'm able to feel my pedes fall back to the floor, standing on my own. And I lift my hand, slapping him across the cheek. Instantly, I freeze, not even realising what I'd done. And then all of a sudden, I'm smacked against the wall, hearing a solid crack from the back of my helm.

"You fucking slut!" hisses from the mech's mouth, optics burning once more as his piercing fangs show. I look at him, and I'm terrified, feeling him press into me against the wall. This time, I'm unable to do anything as he grabs the chains that hold my arms together and drags me out of the shower.  
I scream, and I hear it echo in the room, my pedes stumbling beneath me as I'm too weak to find them. I'm slammed against one of the tables that's in the room, and my hands are pressed against it, my face, too.

I wince as I come in hard contact with the bench, the chains being looped over one of the hooks on the bench so I can't move. Oh, no, I've really pissed him off. And the next thing I hear: my armour being torn from me.  
"No! No, no, no!" I beg, kicking and screaming, but it's to no avail. He's too strong, and it's easy for him to hold me still. "Please! Please don't! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! I'm sorry!" By now, my voice is cracking, going high pitched and strained as I feel my armour being stripped.

Hands go tight against my back, pushing me over the ledge of the table. "You could have had it so easy if you just listened to me!" he seethes into my audio. I feel tears beginning to run down my face now, and I can't help but try and claw away. "But no, you had to be a selfish little bitch! Now this… this _is going to hurt."_

My hands tighten as I scream, my back arching as I feel something press into me. "You sick fuck!" I yell, feeling him force himself inside me. I felt myself literally tear, warm blood dribbling down the insides of my thighs. He gives me no time to adjust, and the pain is unbearable. I can literally feel him going inside me, deeper and deeper, and I vomit up the energon that he had given me, it splattering against the bench in front of me and against my face.

"You like that, you worthless whore!?" he whispers with a grunt into my audio. The back of my neck is taken by his hand, and he presses it against the now vomit-covered bench. I cry even harder, cursing at him until I can no longer speak—my sobbing too hard.  
"Tell me you like it rough, virgin! Primus can't fucking save you now! You're _mine!_" he growls possessively, and I'm unable to fight. I lay there, being thumped against from both him and the slab I'm on. I just cry, my hands going weak as he violates me.  
I tried to shut everything out. I tried praying. I tried anything! Anything to take away the pain and what was being done to me. I tried so hard. I don't know how long it took him to come inside me, but eventually I felt myself being tossed aside onto the floor, the ankle shackle being cuffed around me once again. I merely lay where I was tossed, unable to move.  
I could feel the oil seeping out of me, and now his intimate, disgusting and _vile_ transfluids. I don't cry. I just stay still. My mind doesn't know how to react. For a moment, I had felt sorry for this mech, but now? I can't feel anything but emptiness, like my soul has been reaped from me. I was once a virgin. But not anymore. I was a sinner. Primus would not take me. I had been raped.

**Author's Comment:**

I didn't want to write every day, because that would get rather boring, so I have had some time skips here, going up a fair few days.

Looks like Arkona's gone and done the wrong thing in Megatron's optics and made him snap. Of course, I think everyone should have seen this coming considering she's locked in a room with Megatron, but if not... well... surprise? And just as our girl started to like Megatron...


	5. Chapter 5

Part V

**Day Seventeen: **

For what seemed like an eternity, I hadn't moved. After I'd been raped, I just laid there, stiff and still. I was too afraid to move. I had been weak from when Megatron had deprived me of energon, but now? I just didn't have the will to do anything. What was I supposed to do? Just pick myself up and pretend that it never happened? That would be lying.  
I'd asked myself over and over again why Primus would let something like this happen to someone so helpless. Someone who had counted on and depended on him to guide them and look out for them. I was given nothing in return. Not even some kind of sign. Had he given up on me? Had he abandoned his chid because I was now used goods? Because I had been violated and raped by a mad mech?  
It wasn't my fault, though! I did nothing wrong! It was Megatron who had raped me. Not the other way around. Was I truly being condemned because I had been a temptation to the optics of someone else? I didn't know…  
After the wicked act, Megatron had left again. He had come back a while later, having looked clean, like he'd gone home and taken a shower. He acted normal, like nothing at all had happened, and asked why I looked so down. He said that I had 'deserved' it. That I had tempted him and that all whores must be punished. He then left me dirty and bloody on the floor.  
The following day, when he had come back, he had asked why I was bleeding, and where from. I said nothing. He got upset because I wouldn't talk to him, but eventually, he gave me new energon and cleaned the mess up. I didn't let him clean me, though. I would _never_ let that bastard touch me again. Nor did I touch the energon he had provided for me.  
This time, when I heard the door open, I felt my hands tighten around myself. By now, I was dry and sticky down in my private area. The oil that had come from me was starting to peel off the insides of my thighs. It also created a horrible odour, but at the moment, everything to me was horrible. It was just something else to try and ignore.  
I can smell the bitter scent of a cigarette this time, and it actually causes me to look over curiously. Megatron's got two containers of something that he's brought in. I doubt they are anything important. Probably something work related. But I can also smell something else. High-grade. I merely turn my helm away once more, lying down on the sticky berth.  
There's movement for a while, and then a noise I wasn't expecting to hear. A sniff. Was he getting sick? Good. Fucking bastard deserved to die! And I cringe as I hear his pede steps come closer, a bang, and then what sounds like him sitting down.

"I… know what I did," I hear him say, my hands grasping my arms once more, my optics clenching as I begin to tear up once more. Don't remind me! I'd tried so hard just to forget it. Please don't make me relive your gruesome act again!  
I hear a separation, then an exhale, knowing he's taken a drag of the cigarette. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I… love you, Char. I just, I couldn't control myself. He got in control of me!" he says desperately. Then my optics widen a little, my back still turned from him as I hear him sob. He's… crying!?  
"I'm so sorry. I know you hate me right now, but… I didn't mean it. It wasn't me! I swear, I'd never hurt you! I've lost you too many times… I would never wish to harm you. He just gets the better of me, and I can't fight it. It's like some… fucking disease!"

I feel myself get angry. I'm tired of being empty and sad, so this time, I don't control it. I feel my hands push me up, and I glare at him with as much hate as I can muster. "You _raped_ me!" I bellowed in disgust.

"No… No, I didn't!" he tries to say in defence, the cigarette dropping to the floor. I can see his optics now; they're hazed over from the high-grade that's clearly on his breath. He's drunk. "He raped you! I tried to stop him! I just… I was weak!"

"No! _you_ raped me! You dirty fucking sinner!" I scream, hands going tight. "I _hate_ you! I hope you _die!_ I don't care what you say or how fucked up you are, there is _no_ reason to do what you did to me! Your body defiled me! You violated me, Megatron! I don't care what side of you it was… it was _all_ you!"

I watch as he just stares at me, dirty tear streaks down his cheeks from his grit covered frame. Obviously he'd come back from work. He swallows hard; I see the strain in his neck and jaw, like he's trying to accept what I'm saying to him. Finally, his helm bows, his hands between his knees as he's sitting on a small block.  
"You are right," he murmurs, my optics narrowing. I'm surprised he's accepting and taking in what I'm saying, but I'm still pissed off. I will be for a long time. That bastard fucker _raped_ me, and I wasn't about to forgive him for that! I could understand he was mentally ill, but raping me? There was no forgiving that. Ever! Not even if Primus wanted me to.  
"Is there… anything I can do for you?" he then asks, his helm lifting to look at me. I stare back at him, and I shake my head.

"Stay the hell away from me for one thing, and let me go," I almost demand, my hands clawing into my knee joints. He just stares at me.

"You know I can't do that, Char-,"

"Arkona! My name is _Arkona!_ I am _not_ this Char bitch, and I'm fucking glad I'm not, because I'm sure you probably treated her like trash, too!" I snap, standing up. I'm wobbly and weak, but I can't take it anymore! I want out of here! I never want to see this mech again!

He just continues sitting and watches me, though his optics trailing down to where the dried blood is on my thighs. I immediately stiffen, feeling absolutely mortified and disgusted. My hands lower, and my optics look away in shame.  
"Please let me clean you," he offers. How can he possibly think I'm going to let him touch me ever again!? I just sink back to my berth and try not to cry. It's hard, though. I'm so angry! I'm so scared! I'm so tired of being here! And he just won't listen to me! Crazy or not, I wasn't some fucking femme he could just make up!  
"Please… let me show you I'm sorry," he says, wiping his face down. He moves closer to me, kneeling down onto my berth, and I just turn away from him, folding my arms and sitting cross legged—my back turned to him.

"Piss off," I snap. You'd think I'd be more quiet, more like any rape trauma victim. But I'm not. I'm just so angry! Angry at everything. I've hit the point where I just can't be upset anymore. I can't find the reason to it. Crying isn't going to help me. This mech needs to be put back in his place.

"What do I have to do for you to forgive me? To know that I love you," Megatron murmurs from behind me. "I cannot take back what he—I've—done to you. I know I can't, but… please don't leave me. I've waited so long for us to be together… I would do anything for you to be happy."

My torso snaps around, optics hard on his. "Then why won't you let me go!?"

I see him move back a little, and he just frowns. "I've already told you…"

"I am _not_ your femme friend! I'm not even Char! Stop lying to yourself, you fucked up freak! You killed her! You killed and probably raped her like the psycho you are!" I didn't even realise the harshness of the words that were coming from my vocaliser. "You think by keeping a complete stranger here, that I'll play nice and pretend to be this dead femme!? You're wrong…!" By now, I'm breathing quite hard, my frame shaking once more.  
I snatch the energon cube that's been sitting there for a while and turn back around, sculling it down. Immediately, I realise I probably shouldn't have had so much, and I lean over, vomiting what I just drank.  
Choking, I make sure not to get the berth, as I know it's my sleeping area. I feel a hand on my back and a soothing voice, but I try and nudge the mech from me. However, I've instantly become weak again, and I can't throw him off like I wished I could. Instead, he pats my back soothingly. How sick to admit that it actually comforts me. No longer my kidnapper. My rapist.

**Day Twenty: **

Finally able to stomach the energon that was being given to me, I've gained a little bit of strength back. I am still royally pissed off, but Megatron was being nothing but a gentlemech towards me now. It was clear that he was guilty for having violated me, and he'd told me time after time that he was sorry and didn't mean to do it. What was I supposed to believe?  
In front of me, was this burly mech, as strong as they could come. He had violated me. Pushed me down on my stomach and raped me from behind. I remember every cold, hard, horrible detail, and it makes my stomach churn every time. And yet, when I look into those apologetic, guilt-ridden optics, I actually have to force myself _not_ to believe him. But it's so hard. I'm not stupid, but now I feel like I wish I was. Why couldn't I just say 'okay' and get over it? Why did I have to cling onto it and hold it so closely to my spark? Then again… why shouldn't I hold it? He fucking stole from me what I can never get back… My virginity was sacred to me, and within mere seconds, it was gone.  
I'm clean now. I was able to stand up and take a shower on my own. This time, I didn't even look for an escape route. I knew I wasn't getting out of here. Alive, anyway. I could try, but the moment I betrayed Megatron, I knew he wouldn't just rape me again. He'd stick a nail in my spark with that gun of his. Instead, I enjoyed the actual luxuries I have here. The warm water, and now, the newly installed toilet that he had put in just for me.  
'Just for me'? That sounded strange. Usually I wouldn't be so thankful that my kidnapper did something kind, but it was a damn relief not to have to pee in the urinal anymore. Or in the shower. I never liked doing that. It just felt dirty.  
Having just come from the shower, I feel Megatron's hands dry down my back as he's wrapped the towel around me. My hands are still chained, and I'm unable to do anything. I wished I could turn away. To feel such a gentle gesture from the mech who had violently raped me…? I don't know what to think. Or feel. I just… let him. I want to pull away, but I know there's just no point. I never want to see that side of Megatron again, and I know it only happened because I slapped him. It was my fault… I had triggered him. It was my fault he had raped me.

"Are you alright?" I hear his voice, though it sounds distant in my processor. My optics were focussed elsewhere, but they're brought to his as I feel his hand lift my chin. I just look at him, unsure in what to say. I hadn't spoken to him since I'd yelled at him a few days back. He seemed upset, but had also said that he understood why I was upset.

My voice is croaky, and I'm not sure if he hears me, but I'm unable to not answer his spark-felt question. For solar-cycles, all he's done is apologise and say how sorry he was. Now, he was finally actually asking how _I_ was. And I feel myself unable to stop the words slipping from my vocaliser.  
"No…" It's weak, but it's there, and I turn my optics back away from him, and feel myself lower to the stool that was behind me. My fingers clutch the towel that's around my damp body, and I cuddle into it, like I'm a child who believes their blanket will protect them from the monsters at night. It sounds stupid, but I have nothing else to hold onto. Megatron never gave me back my pendant that I held all of my faith in. Somehow, I feel like I'm losing that, too.

From my peripheral vision, I see the silver mech lean down, his hand on my shoulder. "Is there anything I can do for you…? I'm here to listen." I actually snort at that. Yeah, right. He's here to listen. When did he turn into my therapist who raped me?

Looking back up, I clutch on even tighter to the material. "Megatron… you raped me. How am I supposed to feel? You stole something very important to me: my virginity. You can keep me here, you can take my things—after all, I can replace those. But my virginity? Do you have any idea how that _feels!?_" I whisper, tears beginning to build in the corners of my optics once more. I thought I was done crying, but apparently not. Maybe the water and energon rehydrated my tear ducts.  
For the first time, I see something I haven't seen in his optics. And I don't know what it is. He merely takes a step away from me, and I'm left unanswered. That makes me angry. I sniff, my pale optics narrowing hard. "I thought you said you would listen," I say snappily, rolling my optics.

Then he says something that makes my lips part, hearing him say, "I do know."

Bullshit! My optics watch him closely, and his back turns to me. "What…?" I ask a little too orderly. I see his back hunch, his hands resting on the bench inside the room where he had taken me. "What the hell is that supposed to mean? You don't understand a damn thing, you pig! You don't have a valve! You don't have _anyone_ that could out-power you. So stop with the bullshit and lies to try and relate to your victim. It's not going to make you feel any better, and you should damn well feel guilty for what you did to me, you sick monster!"  
How dare he say he can relate? How dare he say that his loss of virginity was ever fucking like mine!? So I don't know the mech all that well, but he's the rapist here! Not the victim! This was the strongest mech I had ever seen, and there was no way someone could have raped him of his virginity. Unless he was talking about being drunk or something, then he could shut the fuck up! He had no right!

I see his hand sweep over the slab of now polished and clean metal, his fingers tapping across it as if it were some kind of instrument. "You think they're meant to protect you, yes? To look after you, teach you what is right and what is wrong. What true love is…"

What the hell was he blabbing on about? My optics halve in annoyance, folding my chained arms across my chest as I'm still seated on the stool. It was a shame there were no tools around, because this would have been the opportune time to smack him on the back of the helm with something and get the fuck out of here!

"But they're not," he continues, giving a small laugh. He then turns back around, and I feel myself going rigid as he approaches me. "I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to do what she did to me, Char," he says, his optics on my own once more, and his hand gently caressing my warm, clean cheek.

All I can think of is someone taking advantage of him. Char? I give him a questioning look, moving away from his hand. "Char… I… raped you?"

"What? No," Megatron exclaims, his optics going wide. "Char, I already told you… I was molested…"

Now _my_ optics go wide. Wait a second, did I just hear him correctly!? My spark goes tight, and my world spins, but somehow in the tangled web, everything starts to straighten out and make sense. Oh, Primus… This was why he was so fucked up!?  
As horrible as it sounds, I want to know more. I _need_ to know more! If I know, it'll all make sense to me. It'll make me understand what the hell is going on here. Maybe why I'm here, even! So I try to sound like I'm still Char, and I shake my helm. "Oh, Megatron… I'm so sorry, my memory is still falling in and out," I lie. The sincerity is real, though. I'm actually sympathetic. Kidnapper, rapist or not, this knew found knowledge changes everything in the way I see him. He's just a victim, like I am, too.  
"I… I'm so sorry I can't remember," I mumble, looking down. "Who…? Who could do such a thing?" He looks at me, and he leans his aft against the bench.

Megatron folds his arms, and I hear an exasperated sigh come from him. "I don't exactly wish to go through the details, Char. Is there nothing you can remember from our childhood?"

I arch an optic ridge. "Excuse me, but you just _raped_ me, I think you owe me a Primus-forsaken explanation for this," I snap without realising I sound so harsh. I see he's hurt, and I frown, my optics lowering a little. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that, but… it's tough being in here, not remembering much."

"Huh… I only wish I didn't remember, Char," he murmurs softly from those soft, curvy lips of his. He moves back up and takes my hand. I'm made to follow, and he leads me to my berth, allowing me to sit down, only this time, he sits down with me—his hand on my cheek. He seems to do that a lot…  
"You have no idea how hard I've tried to not be the same as her, Char, but… sometimes I fail. I failed with you. I should have never hurt you like that, but I was weak and he gained control of me. He hates her… he hates them all. He sees her in every single one of them. Whores who tear apart families. Whores who slap and hit you when you're just trying to protect them. I loved her, and I still do, but at the same time… I hate her so much for what she did to me… From the bottom of my spark, I wish I could kill her. I wish I could make her suffer everything she made me feel beneath her hands."

Oh, Primus, who was he talking about? Family? Protection? Oh, please no… "Your mo-,"

"She was not my mother!" he snaps, and I feel myself flinch. "She was a worthless whore who fucked any mech that she could find!" His fangs are bared, and I can't find myself looking away from them. His optics are even more intense, and they draw me in. Such hatred. Such fury. Such… passion.

"I'm sorry…"

"Don't be," he informs, his hand moving against my cheek once more. It's warm, and surprisingly, for a miner, it's very smooth. "You did not violate me like she did… You listened to me every solar-cycle. You're the only femme I ever told. You're the only hope I have in this world to know and understand that not all of them are my mother. Not all of them are… vile rapists. There are femmes like you. Who are precious and perfect in every way. Who are… beautiful, even when they are rugged and starving from a foolish mech who couldn't face his darker doings."

I swallow hard as I feel the mech coming closer to me. My hands are in between my knees, sitting on the backs of my legs, and I can feel the heat radiating from his body. Primus, how could someone so vial say such sweet things to me? But it wasn't Megatron that had raped me. Well, it was, but not the Megatron that was sitting in front of me. No, that was a whole other side… I couldn't punish this Megatron for what the other Megatron had done to me. That was wrong.  
Megatron had done nothing but be sweet to me—besides kidnapping me in the first place and not letting me go. But I have a feeling that wasn't the nice Megatron that had seduced me and picked me up in the bar, I have a feeling that was the darker side. The nicer half? He'd looked after me. He'd come back to me. He'd given me gifts and let me shower in privacy. And now? Now, he was telling me some of the most private and hurtful things that could ever happen to someone.

I feel his helm lean into mine, and his optics are burning into my own. I don't know how someone's optics can look so gorgeous and mysterious and… wild all at the same time. But they're drawing me in, and I can't help but gaze back.  
"You're so beautiful," he whispers to me, his thumb going against my cheek. "I want to show you how much I love you, but I'm so afraid of losing control… I never meant to harm you. If I could turn back time, I would. If I could do anything to save you, to stop me from doing such terrible things to you… I love you."  
I feel his lips press softly into my own, and this time, I can feel _him_ kissing me, and not the other Megatron. I can feel the tenderness. I can feel the compassion and—dare I say it—the love. And this time, I'm unable to push myself away. This time, I kiss back, pressing gently into him, his tongue going past mine.

I feel my back go against the berth, and my chained hands go in front of his chest as he kisses me more passionately. My optics dim, and I let my guard down. I don't know why, and I don't even know how it's possible, but I just give in. So many things inside me are screaming at me, telling me to stop, but I just push them aside. It feels too good to stop. However, I'm forced to as suddenly I feel something sharp against my lip, making me pull back.

"I'm sorry," Megatron whispers, moving his hand to his mouth, his fang having a dab of my oil against it. "I… ah…" He pushed himself up.

"No," I hear myself say, as if it's not even me speaking. I lean my hand up, though, sitting back on my knees as I touch his cheek. "Don't be upset, you didn't hurt me." But he somehow doesn't seem to believe me, and my hand slips from him as he stands to his pedes.

"Goodnight," he says softly, although regrettably. I just sit there, watching as he walks from the room. And this time, the light is turned out, a small lamp being the only light in the room besides my optics. I can't help but feel deflated and confused. What just happened? What did I just do? Did I just encourage my rapist and kidnapper to make love to me? Love? I didn't love him! I just thought he was hot… But… what he told me, what he exposed to me today? About his mother. About his life. I wanted to know so much more, and I found myself awake most of the night—even in the comforting darkness (finally sleep-able environment), just thinking. Questioning. I wanted to know more. I wanted to know… Megatron.

**Author's Comment:**

I haven't forgotten about this, just been busy with all the holidays and such. ^^ So I'm a bit behind.

So, what's Arkona starting to feel now that parts of Megatron's past has been revealed? Looks like she's able to forgive the nice Megatron, but certainly not the darker side of Megatron. Wonder what will happen next with these two...


	6. Chapter 6

Part VI

**WARNING: This chapter contains sexual references and mentions of sexual activities. Please read at worn risk **

**Day Twenty-three: **

The last few solar-cycles had been the most confusing in my life. I didn't understand how it happened. I'd told myself a thousand times that I hated him. That I wanted to see him suffer what he had done to me. That I even wanted to kill him myself. And yet, everything's changed now. Every little feeling that I once had was gone and now it was ten times worse. I wish I still hated him. Unfortunately… I had feelings for him.  
I scoff, my optics rolling. Reason is screaming at me, asking me how the hell I had let it come to this. How I had let my kidnapper and rapist trap me into his charming web? Those damn mysterious optics. Those sharp facial features. That broad chest, oh, Primus, just the thought of it was making me wet.  
I blush, even though he's not in the room. He's actually in the shower in the bathroom. He'd come back from work late, so I gathered that the showers in the mines were no longer available. He could have gone home, but I guess he wanted to come here. For what reason? I don't know. But part of me is hoping it's because of me.  
I listen to the water flow in the next room, and I know it's smooth and steady—which tells me he's probably just enjoying the freshness of a shower. Slowly, I feel my teeth draw my lower lip back, nipping on it gently. The images of the mech under the water are… pleasant now. At one point in time, I was disgusted. But now? Now, I couldn't even believe that he had raped me. It was like it hadn't even happened at all. No, I just imagined it was something else. Well, more I created it to be something else. He made love to me. Hard, passionate love. He loved me. He always said he did. He had just gotten angry at me, and so I deserved to be treated roughly.  
My optics go down as I realise my hands are tight in my lap, however, that's not what I notice the most. The thing that surprises me even more is that I can feel myself throbbing down below, like I need the attention bad. I still feel like I've never really had sex before. Megatron pleased himself, but not me. I want to know what an overload feels like. I've… never even masturbated before. But something is drawing me in, making me want these dark desires.  
"No, Char, keep yourself together!" I whisper to myself, lifting my hands away from my body as I realise I'd just called myself the wrong name. No, I was Arkona. Not Char… I couldn't honestly think I was really that femme. But what if I wanted to be? It was the femme he loved…  
Luckily, I hear the door open, which draws my attention away from myself. Okay, maybe not so lucky. I swallow hard as I see the mech armourless, a towel wrapped around his waist. Oh, Primus, what did I do to deserve such weakness and desire? Primus, I want him bad. It's like an animal has awoken inside me, and I can't control it. But I have to! Megatron left the last time we had kissed. Maybe he wasn't as ready as his other side? I didn't want to tempt him, either, but I was curious. Maybe he could teach me? He seemed experienced enough. Maybe he could give me some kind of… sex ed.  
I hear a crack and my optics look up as the mech is stretching his neck from side to side. Oh, those cables in his neck beneath the fleshy skin. I bite my lip once more. "M-Megatron…" I almost whimper, his optics being brought to me. "C-can I ask you something?"

He tightens the towel around his hips, and I almost wish to say for him to stop, that I want to take it off. That I want to really see how big he is. That I want to touch him. I want to… sin. But what would it matter now? Primus hadn't answered me the whole time I was here. Maybe this _was_ his sign? Maybe I was to help this mech? This… wild mech. Maybe I was to stay here because he truly needed me. Maybe I was here for a purpose, and I hadn't seen it yet because I had been hurt and scared. But not anymore. I'm ready. I'm ready to take what Primus gives to me, and right now, it's the hottest mech I've ever seen standing in front of me.  
"Anything," he says gently, making his way over to me. I ask for him to sit, and he does, my optics trailing down his thick form. They stop when it reaches his lower abdomen, where the muscles are quite apparent.

I feel myself blush as they go to the towel. I know what's underneath it now. I can't see it, but I know it's there. And I can't believe I'm thinking it, but I want it. "How… experienced are you?"

He cocks his helm gently, but a smirk soon spreads across his face. I feel embarrassed once more, but there is something about him that just makes me want to know more. "Why do you ask?" he questions. Damn, he's teasing me, I know it. I can see it in his optics. He completely dodged the question with another question.

My shoulders go tight, and my optics go down, my hands tight in my lap once more. "Well… I just… I've never really, you know?" I mumbled shyly, my optics arching a little as I looked up at him, though my head still being down.

"I am honoured to be your first then," I hear him whisper, having leant closely to my audio. I feel a shiver go down my spinal-strut, and then I feel his lips against my neck. I gasp, but his hand is soon placed against my mouth—gently.  
"Shh, if you want someone to teach you, then I am here to guide you. You can't get… better at interfacing, but you can become more skilled."

My optics widen a little. I gently move his hand away. "Exactly how many times are you talking about here?"

He leans back and gives what looks like a proud grin. "Enough to know I'm good. Now, tell me what exactly you do know about interfacing."

He was agreeing to this? I hadn't even asked him, he just seemed to know. Then again, it's probably obvious I know little as I'm a virgin… Er, well… was a virgin. Not to mention I'd screamed it had him so many times…  
"Not much," I confess, my optics arching once more as I feel my cheeks burn. "I just… I just know that it's supposed to feel good."

"Supposed to?" the mech questions. "You can't tell me you've never…" He stops as I turn away, and I feel a little embarrassed and guilty that I have nothing to go from but what he had done to me a few solar-cycles back.  
"I see…" he soon acknowledges, bringing my optics back to his. I frown, feeling silly for not knowing, but I was a good virgin femme, it was he who was corrupting me, making me want him. Making me want to do such bad, sinful things. Maybe this was a real test of faith and not what I originally thought it was, however, that thought soon disappears as I feel his fingertips slide gently against my hip. It tingles, and I feel a certain throbbing beginning to pick back up, making my cheeks burn once more. By this rate, I'm tired of being so shy, and I'm sure he is, too.  
"Let me show you something," he murmurs, inching closer to me. I feel his fingertips trail down to my thigh and another shudder goes down my nape, feeling my metal skin crawl—in a good way. And then my optic open as he dips them between my legs.

"M-Megatron, I-,"

"Shh, it's going to be fine," he reassures me, optics looking into mine. With his other hand, he takes my chin, leaning into me and giving me a tender kiss. My optics go even wider as I feel his fingers unclip my cod, exposing my now moist port.  
"Hmm, I think you're more excited than you're letting on. I always did like that about virgins," he whispers into my audio, and I can't help but want more. I actually feel my hips moving inwards, begging for him to enter me. If the outside feels so good, it must be wondrous to what the inside feels like. Unfortunately, I think he picks up on what I'm thinking, and so he stops, drawing back. I actually make an embarrassing needy sound.  
"Char," he says, his optics soft, "I hurt you the last time I did this, so I will not interface with you. I cannot interface with you. Not yet, anyway, even if my body wants you more than anything." Oh, he says such sweet things, but how could he possibly leave me hanging now!? Of all times!? When I'm actually willing!  
"I can—and will—teach you things, but you have to heal, and I will not push you into interfacing with me. Is that clear?"

I nod. "H-how long will I be sore?" I ask.

"A few solar-cycles," he informs me. "Outside contacts should be fine, but if I penetrate you with anything, it may cause infection, and you don't want that. So be patient," he says, giving off that charming smirk of his. I give a flat look in return, but it's soon gone as I feel his hand take my own, and I look up in surprise as he guides my fingertips to my own port. What? Now? In front of him!?  
"You need to learn the basics. Feel yourself, your body. You are the only one that truly knows where it feels good," he instructs, pressing my fingers against the outside of my port. I just look at him like I'm stupid, too embarrassed to do this. Oh, Primus, why did I ask him in the first place!?  
"You wanted this, Char, now do as I say." His voice turns commanding, but it's still got that soft undertone to it, like he's trying hard not to force me into anything I don't want to do. But even the pressure being applied against me is good, and I can feel the tingling sensation going all through my legs and up to my chest, into my spark.

"I-I can't," I almost choke, too shy to do anything.

My chin is lifted once more, and I am forced to look deep into his vermillion optics. "Yes, you can," he states, as if it's the easiest thing in the world. Once more, his lips are against mine, and he gives me the first few movements before letting my hand go. He continued to kiss me, to give me that reassurance, and it clearly polite enough not to just watch and stare at me.  
It does feel good. I can feel how wet I am, and soon enough, my fingers are glazed with my own lubricant, making the opening softer and more relaxed. My hips buck gently, and he lays me down, being on top of me, still naked beneath the towel. I can feel his erection against my thigh, and it only excites me more, knowing that I've made him hard.  
"That's it," I hear him whisper, kissing down the side of my neck. I feel his body strain, and I know he's holding everything back. He wants to take me, I can see it in his rippling muscles, but he doesn't want to hurt me. He could say no. He was no rapist… The other part, yes, but not this half. This half was so much more.  
I gasp hard as I feel something sharp sink into my neck, and my free hand grabs the back of his neck. He bit me! As much as it hurts, my mind is elsewhere, though, and I can feel my breath hitching, getting out of control. And eventually, I can't keep back the moan in the back of my throat, and I come against him, my body being thrown into what seemed like a fit of pleasure.  
Of course, my face burns as I realised I'd made noise throughout his 'lesson', and I look up apologetically, moving my hand away from myself. He's got my oil on his lips, and he just kisses me, making me taste my own blood.  
"Don't be shy," he says, licking the dark liquid away, "I like it when you make noise."

I only blush more, though I feel guilty that I've clearly made him so hard and unable to return the favour. I wished he would just penetrate me, so I could ease the tension he's holding. "What about you?" I ask, my optics looking down to the lump beneath the towel. I gently move my hand towards it, but Megatron back away.

"Don't," he says, optics hard on me now. "You don't need to see that—ever."

I just look at him, my optics furrowing. "Why not…?"

He shoves his hand against the towel, optics looking away. "Don't question me."

He just made me masturbate in front of him, and now I can't even see his cable? What the hell!? It wasn't like I hadn't seen it before. When he was high, he made me touch it, when he had snapped, he raped me with it. And now I can't see it when he's just watched me? I feel humiliated!  
"Don't question you? That's your reason?" I feel my hands flop down as I cover myself, grabbing the blanket and putting it over myself in shame. "Primus, you're an aft. You just made me…" I couldn't even say it, "and then you can't even show yourself to me!? What are you, a freak or something?"

"You asked for that," he says in a matter-of-fact tone, an optic ridge quirked as if he's done nothing wrong. Oh hell no, he wasn't going to get away with that. I growl, and leaning up, I rip down the towel around his waist, just to show him I'm no longer going to be fucked with by him, however, I stop when I see the wounds against his body.

My hand comes up to my mouth, and I don't know what to do or say. Megatron's stiff, hands having stopped in mid-motion and optics on me, chest rising and falling rather deeply. "I'm… oh, Primus, who did this to you? Your mother?" It's all I can think of. Scars against the insides of his thighs and then against his cable?  
His hands fall lax, but I soon see them clench together, and it brings my optics back up to his. Oh, shit, I've pissed him off. No, not him, the other half. I fall back, my hands holding me up. "Megatron, please, I'm sorry… I didn't mean… I didn't know!"  
_Slap!_  
My face is forced to the side, and I raise my hand, tending to my sore cheek. "I deserve that…" I mumble, looking back at him. He's just stiff once more, like he's trying to fight something. Like he's trying to hold back from hitting me, or strangling me to death.

Leaning down, Megatron takes the towel and placed it back over himself. "Don't ever do that again, is that clear?"

I swallow hard, nodding. "Yes, it's clear…" He seems to calm down, and I watch as he walks away, hearing him putting his armour back on. I tug on my chains that are still around my wrists. I'm tired of being chained down here. It's not like I could escape anyway, and by the looks of things, he's cleared out most of the things that I could harm or kill him with—not that I would.  
No, I wouldn't try harming him anymore. At one point, I wanted to kill him. I would have to save my life. But now? Things are different. I see the mech that Megatron is beneath that hard exterior, and I've experienced his darker side, too. Him, I'm afraid of. But not Megatron. Megatron is just complex, and I've learnt that the hard way, but he's also the only mech I've ever spent so much time with—besides my father, but that's not the same. Megatron really was looking after me. He was protecting me from his other side. Maybe it was a good thing I reminded him of this Char femme. Because I doubt Arkona would still be alive.  
Running my hand down my arm, I cover myself with my cod once more, faced with the fact of what I had done with him and in front of him. And I realise something: I'd do it again. I'd do it again and again, to feel Megatron so close to me. To feel a mech close to me. He's my protector now. And thus, I must do as he says, and I must protect him back. I have to be a good femme. The last thing I want to do is make him snap again and let that… monster take control. I have to live by his rules if I don't want that to happen. And I will.

**Author's Comment:**

Ahh... Arkona... even beginning to refer to herself as Char now. it seems that she really is beginning to have feelings for Megatron now. I can't see this ending well...

Like I said, warning for sexual activity in this. And it's a bit shorter than usual, but oh well.


	7. Chapter 7

Part VII

**Warning: This chapter contains sexual content and high profanity.  
Note: Words in bold text are Megatron's other half. **

**Day Thirty: **

He was in a bad mood. Bad might have been an understatement. I think Megatron had run out of his medication, and so things were starting to go south. I didn't question, I just watched. I didn't even do that, really. I just listened. I didn't want to bring his attention to me, because I knew that if I looked him in the optics, he'd know I was here, and he'd know I was watching. I didn't want that.  
Over the last few solar-cycles, Megatron had taught me many things. Well, many for a virgin like myself, anyway. He'd taught me how to kiss properly. Well, not properly, but better than I had been. I wasn't used to kissing, but Megatron's lips were so soft against my own. And I never thought a tongue against mine would taste so good. I'd always shuddered at the thought of having someone else's tongue down my throat, but Megatron had a way of making everything good…  
Another thing he had taught me was how good biting could feel. I personally never thought anything sexual of a bite. But I had a few marks on my neck now, and each time it became more pleasurable than the last. Unfortunately, he hadn't let me see him yet. He'd just told me to still practice on feeling my body, and so when he was out at work, that's exactly what I did in my private time. He even provided me with magazines. I was too shy to look at them, but every now and again I had a peak. I mainly just used my imagination. Imagining it was Megatron against me and inside me.  
I'd actually managed to make my own little station over near my birth now. He still tied me up when he left, and my ankles were kept prisoner to the small area. But when he was here, I was allowed to move around. He still seemed paranoid that I'd escape—even though I told him I wasn't even trying, which was true.  
Beside me was my energon. It was energon from the mines, so it was pretty much the best you could get. I also had some books now. Megatron had asked if I had wanted anything to do in my spare time here (besides the previous stated), and I loved to read, so I asked him if he could borrow some books from the local library. He did me one better. He went out and bought them, saying to me that I could just considering them as a gift. I didn't realise he was going to buy them when I asked, so I actually felt rather guilty when he had come back with them inside the bag, purchased and everything. I don't think he's used to giving gifts, because the receipt was still in there, and it only made me feel worse. Then again, he's a miner, so he's packed with credits. Plus, it wasn't like he was keeping me in the most luxurious of places. It only made me sympathise for him more. I wondered what his home looked like…  
Yes, I did wonder what his home looked like. Was it clean? Was it dirty? Was it fancy? Where did he eat? Where did he shower? Where did he sleep? I feel my hands tighten a little at the thoughts that seem to swim in my processor. I was in deep, wasn't I? Even thinking of the small things. Primus… I wonder what he looked like when he was in stasis. I bet he was one of those really gorgeous sleepers. The ones where you just know they're at ease and at peace with themselves.  
Hearing something smash, I almost flinch out of my armour, my optics lifting to finally look at the mech. He's dripping sweat, and he's panting quite hard, like he's been in a fight with someone. But I know he hasn't. He'd have some sort of evidence on his body. Something to show that he'd been in a brawl. The only brawl he's having is the one with the other side of him. The side I've decided to call Unicron, after the Chaos Bringer. Because that's exactly what he was. He hurt Megatron. He brought on pain and suffering. I know Megatron didn't want to do the terrible things he had done in his life, like killing and raping. But he was pushed into it. He had no control. It was all the other side.  
He whispers something, and I narrow my optics, trying to hear. But then a deep yell comes from him, like he's having a verbal conflict with someone. Someone that no one else could see.

"I know it's what I want!" he yells, his voice vibrating through my body. He looks at me, and as quickly as possible, I lower my optics, as if I'm not listening, but it's too late. I hear his pedes coming my way, and then my chin is taken, yanked up to look into his fiery optics.  
"What!?" he asks, and I whimper a little, like I don't know what to say. It makes him mad, and he tosses my face aside. I almost fall over from the sheer force, but I manage to stay sitting upright, just tending to my jaw.  
**"So this is the whore you want to love you!? She isn't even the real fucking one, you crazy bastard,"** I hear him say to himself. I lower my shoulders, knowing very well that Megatron thinks I'm Char. But I'm not. I wished I was, just so I could stay here with him, but I know I'm Arkona. It's just a fantasy. But I could still play that fantasy for him.  
"No…" he whispers, as if in a childlike voice, not ready to give into Unicron. "Primus gave her back to me! She is real… look at her." His optics come back to me, and I just look at him submissively. "She's real… Char." I look up. "See? She responded to her name…! Didn't you? You are her. You are Char."

Was I supposed to answer that? I just swallow, feeling my frame begin to shake.

**"You're pathetic. You're living in a fucking fantasy! Just rape her and kill the cunt! She tasted so fucking good the first time, just imagine what she's going to taste like the second, when she knows what she's in for." **  
"No!" Megatron's hands clamp onto the sided of his helm, and he breathes heavily, looking around the desk. He opens the drawers and finds whatever he's looking for, but the next thing I see is the small, empty cylinder being tossed across the room, and Megatron yelling at himself.  
They were empty. He really had run out of medication. This is the part where I feel myself getting frightened. Not because of Megatron, but because of his other half. The Devil inside him. I remember what he told me when I had first arrived in this place. That without the medication, I would very much be dead. And this is why… Because the other side was taking control. I couldn't let it happen! I couldn't die by him!  
He fell to the floor on his knees, desperate to keep control of himself. "No, no, no! I won't let you! I won't let you kill her!" he seethes through a clenched jaw. His hands are going tight, as if he's about to crush his own skull. I can't let that happen! I can't let that demon overtake him! I have to do something!

"M-Megatron," I whisper, and his optics shoot into mine. "Megatron, it's okay… I'm here for you," I say in a soothing voice, maybe the first time I've ever spoken to him like this. "Come here. Let me take care of you."

He looks at me strangely, as if it's not true that I'd help him. But I would. I can't watch him suffer under the hands of that wicked beast inside his head. We all have a Hell, and this was his.  
I outstretch my arm, offering my hand. He looks tired, worn out, like he's about to keel over and faint. He's still dirty from the mines, and I can tell he's already tried. How often did he sleep anyway? After all, sometimes he came here at an ungodly hour, like he was just up doing nothing and decided to come here.

"Please, it's okay," I urge, my optics arching as he looks towards me. He moves forward a little, as if he's not sure to trust me. "It's me… Char," I lie, but with how much I wish I was her, I know I sound honest, and it shows as he believes me in moving forward.  
My hand reached to his cheek, he grabs my wrist first, tightly, and I wince, but he soon lets go. Not because I make him, but because he did exactly what I thought he would. He passed out.

*****  
I'd managed to pull Megatron (with great difficulty) onto the berth that was mine. I sat on the edge, knees up as he slept. I was right… he looked absolutely peaceful. I didn't remove any of his armour, and I didn't even touch him while he slept. I wanted to… I wanted to feel his spark-beat as he slept, but I knew it would be too dangerous. If he woke up with me leaning against him, he might be mad at me. I didn't want that.  
The only thing I hoped for that was when he woke up; it was Megatron, and not the other. I didn't want to see him ever again. I'd be lying if I said he didn't terrify me. That bastard had fucking raped me. Of course I was terrified. Mortified, even! But Megatron wasn't that mech, and so I was willing to let him rest in my berth.  
I watched as his chest gently rose and fell, signifying his life, and that he was sleeping peacefully. It was the first time I'd ever seen him in stasis. I liked it. For once, I felt I wasn't actually alone in here. I had someone with me. Someone who was asleep. He might be angry when he wakes up because I took care of him—he seemed the type, acting all tough—but the sight before me was probably one of the sweetest things I'd ever seen. Well, that was until I saw him move.  
Watching closely, I saw his fingertips go tight against the berth mattress, squeezing it. He was dreaming. What kind of dream? Was it a good one? Was it a bad one? I didn't know, but I'd find out if he woke up soon. I just watched, and soon enough I was answered. It was definitely a bad one.  
I watched as his breathing increased, and he squirmed in his stasis, his face scrunching for a moment. I would have giggled, but what I saw in front of me wasn't very funny. In fact, it was quite scary.  
I didn't know what to do. Was I to wake him? Wasn't it bad if you woke someone up from a nightmare? I thought I'd read something somewhere saying that it could cause spark issues. I bit my lip in thought as I heard what sounded like a pained groan come from the back of his throat. Oh, Primus, I couldn't just sit here and do nothing about it. I had to help him.  
Moving closer, I put my hand to his chest, shaking it gently. "Megatron…" I whispered gently, watching as the mech merely arched his back, his knees coming up before falling back down. His hands were tight on the berth still, and so I tried to loosen his grip. Damnit! How fucking strong was this guy? I tried once more, but I knew the grip wasn't going to yield, so I returned to his chest.  
"Megatron, wake up," I say with more force this time. Still nothing. Now I'm worried and angry. How long ago did he actually sleep? He must have been pretty deep in if I couldn't wake him up. "C'mon, Megatron, what the hell is happening in there?" Another groan comes from his throat, and even a more scared sound. Oh… so he does get scared? Now that was… admittedly adorable of him. I smack the thought away, touching his cheek this time and giving it a light tap.  
"C'mon, it's okay. You're safe here. I've got you," I soothe. It's the only thing I can think of. I know my mother used to soothe me when I was a child and I'd had a nightmare. Maybe it would do the same thing? I don't know, but it's worth a try. So I softly hum, trying to soothe his mind. He might not be awake, but I know he can hear me. I could hear my mother when she sung to me. It could work.  
Soon enough, Megatron's body went back to a lax position, and I've got my hand on his, cupping it with both of my own smaller ones. I feel that his palm is warm, and eventually, I feel the fingers tighten around my own, bringing my optics to his. He's awake.

"What are you doing…?" he questions, pushing himself and up letting go of my hand. I had still been humming, so he was probably confused, and he gives me a look that tells me I'm some kind of weirdo for having been near him when he was in stasis.  
He rubs his helm, but still lays half down, checking out his surroundings. "How did I get here…?" His voice is confused, and somewhat pained. His hand goes to the left side of his helm, touching it gently with his palm, as if he's suffering the remnants of a migraine.

"You passed out," I explain softly, placing my hands into my lap. "You… and… uh… 'Unicron' had an argument."

"Uni-what the hell are you talking about?"

"Oh, it's just the name I gave your other half, you know… because… he's mean," I mumble out like I'm stupid or something. I feel embarrassed now, but when I hear him laugh, I look back up, seeing him giving a snort from the back of his throat. "It's not funny…"

"Yes it is!" he exclaims, showing his flawless fangs. "You seriously call him a pet name? That's…" He clears his throat, shaking his helm. "My name was Megaronus when I was born." His voice is serious now, and I know the name, giving him a questioning look. "She hated me that much she named me after a traitor. My father changed it before I entered school, though. Said he wanted me to have a chance at a normal life. I guess he did me one favour…"

My optics lower a little. Was he always this open when he woke up from stasis? Maybe he just really needed some sleep. Primus knew a mech could get grumpy when they didn't sleep well. "So you call him Megatronus?"

"I call my other side many things," he answered, though his voice seeming somewhat distant.

"You had a nightmare… that's why I was humming," I confessed, my hands together in my lap. I cross my legs, looking like I'd done the wrong thing. His optics look to me once more, and I feel like I've invaded his privacy in some way. "I'm… sorry."

"For what?"

"For… touching you."

"You touched me?"

I look up, feeling a little embarrassed. "Well, I tried to wake you up, so I tried shoving you a little, you know? But it didn't work. So that's when I started to hum. I remember my mother used to do it when I had a nightmare." I watch as his optics look away once more as soon as I mention the word 'mother'. "Sorry…"

"I don't sleep very well… How long was I out?" he asks me, completely ignoring the statement.

"Half a solar-cycle… It's past midnight now. I… I guess you'll be heading home, then?" I sounded more disappointed than I realised. I didn't want him to leave. I liked having the company here. Sure, I was terrified when Megatronus came out, but he wasn't Megatron. Megatron was kind to me. He looked after me, and protected me from that psychotic demon.

Megatron moved towards me a little on the berth. "Unless you wish for me to stay…?"

My spark skipped a beat as I looked him in the optics, feeling my entire insides fly away from me. I was anxious. It was tight on my spark, and my head was almost spinning, but I nodded—barely. "I-I'd like that…" I whispered, his lips almost against mine. I could feel the heat against him once more, and Primus, it was like every sane thought disappeared from me. But I couldn't make the first move. I just couldn't. It wouldn't be right…

"I will," he answered back, almost inaudible, and finally I felt his lips go against mine. I felt his tongue go into my mouth and slip against my own.

We kissed for I don't know how long. It seemed like forever, though, and it was the only thing I wanted to feel. We kissed like we'd never kissed. Or at least I'd never kissed. He was forceful, but passionate, and soon enough, I was on my back, the mech leaning over me from beside me. He still kissed me, not having broken contact once, and I felt his fingertips trace down my belly, making it tingle.  
My breath hitched, and I gasped, my hand going to the back of his nape. "Oh, please don't stop," I whisper into his mouth, and he shows me he has no intent in doing so. I feel my armour being peeled away from me sheet by sheet, and eventually, I'm there—armourless—his hand on my flat chested protoform.  
I lean my hand against the clip of his own chest armour, slipping my fingers into the cracks. He moves purposefully, taking my hand and unclipping the chest-plate. Soon enough, my hands are tracing down his masculine protoform, feeling the scars against him. Oh, Primus, I've never seen anyone stronger and more mechly.  
"Megatron… I… I want you," I say softly but needily. I look into his optics, and he takes my hand, linking our fingertips.

"I've waited so long to make love to you, Char… You have no idea how long I've been waiting to hear you say this to me," he murmurs, pressing our helms together as we merely gaze into one another's optics. "I never wanted to hurt you. I never meant to. Please let me make it up to you."

_Yes, please make it up to me_, my mind screams. I just lean forward, taking his lips once more. I feel his surprisingly silky skin against me, and my thighs part. He slips his bottom armour off and kicks it aside.  
"Uh…!" I wince in surprise as I feel him pressing into me. Oh, Primus… is that a piercing!? My optics widen in surprise at the cold steel against my insides, and he just gives me a smirk. Was that new?

"They say it works wonders," he whispers seductively into my audio before giving me all the time I need to adjust to his massive girth.

He moves into me, and I feel like my optics are going to roll into the back of my head. My hands clutch at his shoulders from beneath his arms. I feel like I'm about to wet myself, but apparently 'that's just how it feels when you're hitting the right spot'.  
Soon enough, I can't stop myself from giving into the pleasure. From feeling him inside me. He's so thick, it's amazing. I never thought something like this was going to feel so good. I want to question so many things, but my processor shuts everything out but Megatron and what he's doing inside me. Hell, my mind even shut him out for a while, and just focussed on the Nirvana down below.  
Eventually, I feel myself overload, and my hands etch into his flesh—not enough to cut, but enough for me to grip on tightly. My body shudders and falls into his, and soon enough, I feel his intimate fluids inside me.  
I'm buggered as we lay lazily on the berth, Megatron's chest and stomach against my back as he's laying sideways, his fingers trailing down my helm as if I had hair to play with. I don't know what to say. We just lay there, and somehow, that seems like the way it's supposed to be. We don't have to say anything. We just lay there, together. Naked, hot and sweaty.  
Feeling his fingers trail down my neck, I wince a little to where he had sunk his fangs. I had blood there, but he'd licked it up during our passionate interfacing. It was forming a scab; I could feel it against his fingertips.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you," he says from behind me. "I know I'm… possessive." It sounds like it's the first time he's ever admitted it, and I just smile, resting my arms beneath my helm.

"I like when you're possessive," I say, hearing him give a soft hum. I've almost forgotten that I'm a prisoner down here. But I realise something. I'm not. I'm unchained now. My hands are free. He'd unlocked them during our love-making. I could go any time I wanted to. But I didn't want to. He wasn't keeping me a prisoner down here, he was keeping me safe. Safe from dying out there. Safe from the lies. Safe from the conforming government and society. He'd told me all about his views and how he saw the world. I was starting to agree. I was starting to make sense of it all. He didn't want me to become one of 'them'. And I didn't want to, either. He was protecting me, saving me…

"How was it?" another soft question comes from the large, masculine mech. I feel his fingers leave my neck, and drift down my shoulder and arm, until it reached my hip. It sends tiny little shivers all through my body, and he knows it. But at the same time, he seems like he's in his own Heaven, having finally made love to the femme he's been in love with since just a child.

I gaze across the room, giving a light laugh and smiling for what seemed like the first time since I've been here. "Like nothing I've ever felt before…"

"Hmm, that's what they all say." I laugh once more, hearing him return a chuckle. He pulls me tighter, so my bare rump is against his lap. I can feel his cable pressing in between my aft cheeks, but he's not ready for another go. I think he just wants to cherish the moment. Savour it while it lasts. I don't blame him. It's been a life time since he's seen his Char, and I am here now. I am here to give him that. To let him love her. To let him love _me_.

I lean against his body, allowing him to wrap around me. I'm tired, though. No, I'm more than tired, I'm spent. I'd never known that interfacing required so much stamina and energy. I thought it was just the mech that did all the work. I was wrong. His movement very much made my own body move, too, and I knew my body would be sore in the morning.  
I try not to think of that. I just remember the pleasure I felt. Not only of my first real overload, but the passion it held within it. His hands against my body. His body laying over me. His fangs inside my skin…  
Eventually, I fall asleep, and he does, too.

**Author's Comment:**

I dunno, I think they're kinda sweet together. Maybe it's just me, but here it just shows both of their more loving sides. I mean, Arkona is clearly suffering Stockholm Syndrome and is in out of hr head, but she sees her purpose as giving Megatron what he needs in life. Char and love.

Megatron's just... Well, he's never been stable. He just thinks Char's been given back to him somehow, and he can't let go of her. He's clinging onto her for dear life, as a purpose.

But, yes... they finally slept together. I think the next chapter will be the final.


	8. Chapter 8

Part VIII—Finale.

**Day Thirty One:**

I watched her sleep against me, warm and naked. My fingers trail against her shoulder, and I feel the smallest of smiles crease my lips. I'd waited a lifetime for this. To have her against me. To hold her. To watch her in stasis. To make love to her. And it had been wonderful.  
I wanted to do it again. I wanted to feel her from the inside once more. Truly. Not like I had previously, where I had ripped her apart and made her bleed. Not that I'd like to believe that was me. No, I'd never do such a thing to her. Whores who deserved it, maybe, but never Char. It was Him. He had done that vial act to her. Not me.  
My optics lower at the thought. How could I have ever harmed such beauty and grace? Char was everything to me. Did I truly think it was Char? Part of me didn't. But I didn't know. The girl I had picked up was Arkona. I'm not stupid. A little bit sick, but not stupid. I know she wasn't born as Char, but Primus, when I look at her, it's all I can see. The ghost of my beloved. I had killed her in such a bitter wrath. I could not do the same to my new Char. Primus had granted me a second chance. He had given me Char. Why else would she be here? Why else would she look so alike? It had a purpose. Primus had, for once, answered my prayers.  
I try not to remember the things my other half has said to me. Has told me as He whispers so sickeningly into my audios. I just wished I could rid him forever. It's why I started taking the medication. I needed it to stay away from my crimes. To stop me from committing them. And now I was out…  
I look over my shoulder, seeing the orange cylinder half way across the room and on the floor. I need to leave. I have to get out of here before something bad happens to my sweet Char. But something keeps me here. Like I'm strapped down again in that asylum. No, I had to leave. I could easily slip away while she was still in stasis and maybe be back by the time she woke. It was only early morning, and she had stayed up late last night, looking after me.  
Moving gently, I lay her down on her own side of the berth and slip myself from the sheet that's covering us. She must have grabbed it, because I can't remember. Or maybe I did… it was hard to concentrate when such passion flowed through two bodies.  
As I'm sitting, I feel a warm hand go against my bicep, stopping me from moving any further. My optics turn to her as she rolls over to face me, her crystal optics on my own. "I have to be going now," I say, taking her warm hand into my own. I lift it and kiss her knuckles, still watching her closely. She seems disappointed.

"Please stay a little longer…?" she asks, almost begs with those royal blue optics of hers. I find myself unable to say no to her. She really was Char. Or at least she was when she looked at me like that. I'd seen it so many times in our childhood. She wanted my company. She loved me. Just as I loved her. But I need my medication… I can't stay.

Moving, I'm sitting on my legs. "I have to run some errands. I will be back shortly, I promise."

"At least shower with me?" she says hopefully, sitting up like I am. I can't help but take in her frame, and I feel myself swallow. Yes, I want her again. I want her so much. She talks sense when she speaks of having a shower, I know. My armour is filthy from the mines, and the scent of last night's intimacy is still upon us. Going out in public like this probably wouldn't be the best of ideas.

I stand, offering my hand to her. She takes it, and I allow her to get the shower ready while I scoop up my armour that's laid upon the floor. Once I have it all in my arms, I head into the bathroom, laying it down on the racks to be cleaned.  
My optics trail to the naked femme inside the shower, and like a moth to a flame, I'm drawn to her. I step inside behind her, my fingers going against each of her arms. She doesn't flinch this time, like she had previously. She's finally giving in. And I let my arms wrap around her, leaning down to kiss her helm. I inhale her scent, and instantly I become aroused.

"O-h… Megatron," she whispers. I know she's felt my reaction, but I don't draw away, and neither does she. In fact, I think she wants it just as much as I do. She was a virgin, and I know once they've had a taste, they want more and more. She's still fresh, and that's what is wonderful about it.  
She turns in my arms, and I'm facing her now. I feel her fingertips trail down my chest to my abdomen, and then they touch my erection. I stiffen a little, biting my bottom lip as I feel her tease me, a finger looping through my piercing. "I like your new friend," she tells me, her voice as sultry as ever. I just grin, my arms reaching down so my palm could cup her firm aft.

"As do I," I inform her. Her cheeks go dark in embarrassment, but I merely pick her chin up and bring her lips to mine. I taste her, savouring every moment before I know I have to go. We ended up making love once more in the shower. This time, I took her from behind. Albeit, a bit more roughly, but she seemed to enjoy it. However, it's when I knew I needed to leave before I hurt her once more.  
Stepping out of the shower, I told her she could stay a while longer, and so she did. I armoured up and kissed her goodbye, having to force myself out of the warehouse before I fucked her senseless again. And with a very uncomfortable hard-on, I made it to my work ute, starting to ignition and heading back to my apartment.  
Once home, I tossed the keys onto the kitchen bench, opening the drawer where I kept most of my important documents. I picked some of them up, looking for my prescription. It wasn't there. No, it had to be. I remember I had it sitting on the top… I swear to Primus, it was there.  
I check again, this time more thoroughly before cursing to myself and throwing what I had in my hand onto the bench. "Fuck, where are you?" I know it's here somewhere! It has to be! If I didn't find it soon, I'd begin to get hostile and violent. I know. I couldn't have that now. I had to return to Char. I had to love her, take care of her. Keep her away from this disgusting society.  
Rubbing the front of my helm, I push the drawer closed, hearing it slam with force. There's no point in searching the same spot over and over again. It's not there. Instead, I turn to my apartment. I had a mission. I had to find it. And so I turn the apartment upside down, tossing things aside and even flipping the berth over in case it had slipped underneath.  
Shit, it wasn't here. By now, my breath is heavy, and I can feel myself getting angry. No, I was more than angry, I was fucking pissed off! Where the fuck was my Primus forsaken fucking prescription! I needed my fucking medication! I needed it now!  
"You son of a fucking whore," I seethe at myself, or more so the piece of paper I cannot find. Where could I have left it? It couldn't have been my last; I only had it signed a few solar-cycles back. I kick the berth, looking at the remains of my apartment. I didn't have the time to fix it up; I had to get down to the chemist. Maybe they could help me. They knew me enough. They knew I came in for medication every now and again. Most of the time I wouldn't, but I had responsibilities now. I had to take care of Char. I couldn't do that without my medication. She'd see me for the monster I am… She'd leave me! She wouldn't love me anymore.  
"Fuck…" I grab my keys and jump back into my ute. The tyres screech as I accelerate, but a speeding ticket is not exactly on my list of 'I give a fuck' right now. The chemist is just down the street, so hopefully the timing will be alright. Unfortunately, I can already feel a headache beginning to pound at the side of my processor. I give an aggravated growl to that, smacking my left hand onto the wheel.  
Pulling up, I park, opening the glove box to pull out an old prescription so they know what the hell I'm talking about. I don't even lock the truck; I just make my way inside, pushing through the other customers. I'm tall enough, they can all get fucked. I'm sure they're all in here because they're too pussy and can't handle the common cold. I have real fucking issues here, alright! I need service, and I need it now.  
At the counter, the young mech looks up at me. I probably don't look the classiest considering I just turned my apartment into a pigsty, but I care not for that. "I need a new prescription," I order, slamming the old one I found onto the desk. He takes it and reads it. I know what he's going to say, so I don't give him the chance.  
"Listen, I know it's old, but I couldn't find the new one that I was given. I must have taken it to work or left it elsewhere. Careless of me, but I don't need the third degree from you. Just make up a new one, and make it fast." I don't even give him a 'please'.

"Sir… I can't do that." I growl, the headache getting worse.

"Listen here, I swear to Primus, if you don't go out the back and make your little slaves make this up, then I will take your out into the parking lot and make you regret denying me! Is that clear!?" I don't have time for this pathetic rookie! Where the hell is the usual mech?

Once more, the younger mech just looks at me. A little horrified, to my delight, but still not clear on what I'm asking. "Please, sir, I can't do that, it's illegal. I could lose my job."

"You could lose your fucking life!" I snap, now getting the attention of the others in the store. I clench my fangs, trying to calm myself by running a hand down my face. "Please… you don't understand how urgent this is… I need the pills." I don't pride myself in saying that. In fact, it makes me feel fucking pathetic that I have to take medication to behave. But it's all I have right now. If it means saving Char and not destroying her, then I would change Cybertron itself to make her happy. She was my life. She was my everything. I could not let Him take her again! Not this time!  
A hand is on my shoulder and I turn abruptly, slapping it from me. "Do _not_ touch me," I sneer. I hate being touched! Especially without my permission. No one has the fucking right to put their disgusting commoner servos on me. Especially not the guard that was looking at me. Like his little uniform really changed anything. He had no power, and certainly not over me. I could snap his neck within a spark-beat if I wished to.

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave or be quiet." I scoff. How I hated authority figures. Of course, the first thing that crosses my mind is to show him how much trouble I truly could bring to this silly little store, but I don't need to get myself locked up again. With my record, I'd be incarcerated if I was arrested. With Char in the warehouse with no source of energon, I knew I could not let that happen.

"I am not causing trouble, _Mr. Security Guard_," I say with sarcasm, "I just want my prescription. That is all."

"And threatening someone's life like that isn't causing trouble?" He arches an optic brow at me. I merely grumble. I don't care for this child. I don't even know him. And so what if he died? It would have no impact on me. It would be no tragedy.  
"Come on, I think it's time for you to leave. When you've got the right papers, then this young mech will give you what you want. Until then, I advise you to leave before I have to call the police."

"Because your badge doesn't mean shit?" I question, a short laugh coming from the back of my throat. He shoves me towards the door, and I rip away from me. "Fine, I will leave, but I promise to every one of you, especially you two," I point to the guard and the clerk, " that you will regret not giving me what I want." With that, I walk from the store.  
Opening the door to my truck, I sat inside, smacking a hand onto the dashboard. "Damnit…" What the hell was I going to do? Lock myself up until it passed? I couldn't do that. There was no telling how long it would last. Nowadays, sometimes it felt like it never disappeared. That even when I was taking the medication (that I hated), I still lost control of myself. And the thing that terrified me the most was the fact that I enjoyed it… I enjoyed seeing them scream. Seeing them covered in gore. I enjoyed ripping them in half. I didn't _want_ to… but… fuck it, they all deserved it. I know they did. They were all a bunch of fucking cheating cunt whores. They take what they want from you and break your spark. They treat you like you're nothing but a pet! Just like my mother had. That disgusting paedophile!  
Breathing hard, I cringe at the pain that's stabbing into the left side of my processor. It was only a matter of time. Maybe I could do something to at least save the femme.  
**'You mean the femme that is nothing but a common whore? One that has done nothing special to earn your trust. The one you believe to be a reincarnation of your beloved whore best friend, Char?'**  
No, not now! Give me some time at least! My fangs bare. "Stay out of this!" I seethe to myself, a hand tight on my helm. "She is real! She is everything I've waited for!"  
**'What? So she can just leave you again!? So she can let someone else shove their prick into her valve and fuck her like she likes it! And then spawn sparklings with them behind your back!? You're pathetic! She never loved you! She never will! And your pet back home doesn't either! She's just sick and tired of getting slapped around that she's playing good for you! It's a lie! It's all an act! She knows who she is! She's lying to you!'**  
"It's not true!" It wasn't true! She wasn't lying to me. She had been nothing but perfect, acting the same way as the femme I loved. She looked exactly like her, with those beautiful curves and those pure optics. How dare He say something like that about her! I would prove him wrong! I would piss on his words!  
**'I am, am I? Why don't you ask her yourself…?'**  
A hard swallow goes down my throat. I am determined to prove Him wrong of His filthy lies. I turn on the engine and back up, looking behind me. It was time to go back to the warehouse. I'd pick up some energon along the way, and then when Char was fully awake and fed, I would talk to her and get the truth.

*****  
Still beneath the blanket, I kneel to the femme who has become my obsession over the last three-quarters of a lunar-cycle. I touch her shoulder gently. She's armoured, but she's still resting, however, I soon learn she is awake as her optics turn to look at me.

"Megatron… you're back," she states the obvious. I nod gently, lifting the bag I have for her. She takes and, picking up the bottle of energon inside and taking a few sips. She takes them gently, now knowing that shoving it down would only cause her to vomit. Then again, that was my own fault, wasn't it? I had starved her. I had made her suffer, so that when she did manage to feed, she was unable to keep it down in her tanks.  
"How long are you going to stay?" she asks me. I'm still kneeled, and I take her chin into my hand, wiping the small bit of energon still glistening on her bottom lip with my thumb.

"I am uncertain at this time. I need to ask you something." My concentration is trying its hardest to stay on the femme before me. I can feel myself losing this battle without my medication, but I can try, and maybe if He hears He is wrong, then He will stay away for a while longer. It doesn't have to be long, just enough time for me to get a new prescription from the doctor.

Her hand takes mine, and she looks at it for a moment before looking at me. She seems worried. I can sense it. "You know you can ask me anything, Megatron."

Yes, I know I can, but can I get the answer I am looking for? I have a feeling He is right, and I will be left broken again. I don't want to believe that, but something in my gut is telling me it's true. That this really isn't Char, that, in fact, it was just a femme, that by chance, looked like the love of my life. And I have made her come here. I have told her my darkest secrets. She knows so much about me, and yet, I know so little about her—if she is not truly Char.  
"What is your title?" I ask, looking at her quite seriously. In the back of my mind, I know what she's going to say. I know she's going to say the wrong name. I know who I had picked up at the bar, but I thought things would change. I did not take her for no reason, after all.

She looks at me, even more worry on her face, but then she smiles, those perfect, pouty lips creasing into a lovely gesture. "My name is Char, Megatron. I am the love of your life. I am your best friend," she tells me.

My hand falls from her chin, my optics lowering.

"Is that not the correct answer…?"

I smile, looking back up. "No, my love. It most certainly wasn't." I grab the bag and toss it into her lap before standing up. The world around me shatters, and I am faced with how stupid I am. She said what she wanted me to hear, what she even maybe believed. But I knew it was a lie. Char, the real Char, would never have admitted that she was the love of my life. She was just too modest.

The femme opens the bag that accompanied her when I had taken her the night we met. Her phone is inside, as well as the rest of her belongings, including her ID card. "Megatron… is this not what you want?" she asks me. "I thought I was doing the right thing… I want to be her! I want to be Char. For you!"

"No! You lying fucking cunt! You want to be her for yourself! You _lied_ to me! You made me _fuck_ you!" I hiss. My spark goes tight as I place my hands behind my helm, pacing the room. "He was right about you," I say, shooting my optics in her direction. She seems confused, but I don't care. She lied to me! She listened to everything I had to say to her about my personal life, and she lied to me! She said she loved me like Char had.

"What else was I supposed to do…!?" she cries, her optics glazing. "I believed you were going to kill me! Like the rest of them! My love isn't a lie, Megatron! I admit, at first, I hated you. You _kidnapped and raped me_ for Primus' sake. But then I started getting to know you… I… I felt sorry for you. I wanted to help!"

I scoff once more. "Save your lies, who wench! You have no such feelings for me. It was all just a plan to break my spark. Make me trust you so I would let you out of here! I already told you, I had lost her too many times to even _consider_ letting you out there! I believed you had changed. I was a fool… I thought that in time you would see your purpose. I knew deep down you weren't her, but… "

"But, what!?" she snaps, her optics angry now. How dare she be angry with me!? I didn't lie to her! I told her everything! I told her the honest truth! "You think it's okay to kidnap me and rape me, but me falling in love with you—which is what you wanted, I might add—is wrong!? Megatron, please… I came here not understanding how complex you are, and even now I don't know what's going on inside that processor of yours, but please believe me when I say I love you. We made love last night, and this morning! It wasn't a lie! I know how passionate you were! You wanted it as much as I did, and you felt it was real, just as I did!" her voice was begging now, pleading. Char would never beg like this. But what am I supposed to feel? I had fallen for someone who wasn't even Char. I didn't love Arkona! I didn't even know a thing about her! I had no interest in knowing, either! I just wanted Char back… And in my desperation, I had let it come this far.

She was telling the truth in that, though. I did enjoy what we shared. For once, since the accident, I had felt like I had had her back. I thought I truly had Char back. I don't know what possessed me to keep Arkona, besides the fact that she reminded me so much of Char.  
"I knew deep down you weren't her, Arkona. There are things you and Char just… cannot compare with one another, but I was so hopeful that you could be her. I know I'm sick, but that doesn't make me a lunatic. I know who I picked up that night. I know I picked you up," I confess, looking at the hopeful femme on the floor still.  
I shake my helm. "I was just hoping… wishing that you could be her. Something in my mind kept telling me to believe. Kept pushing me that if I believed, then you would truly turn into Char. I was stupid to believe that."

"No…" she whispers, getting up from her knees and heading towards me. "I want to be her, Megatron. I want to be with you! I know I said and did horrible things when we first met, but… I was afraid! I was scared! You can't just chuck me out like this! I let you keep me here. I don't need to be let go or to be saved. I want to be here… with you… Please…"

I watch as her optics glaze with tears, and I'm taken aback. How could someone who I have treated so wrongly love me? How could they even care a shred for me? I had kidnapped this femme. I had raped her. This virgin. This religious femme. I had corrupted her, letting her believe that I was a good mech. I was nothing of the sort. I was a predator to her kind. I treated them like scum, like my mother had treated me.  
Lifting my hand, I cup her cheek softly. "Why do you want to be her, Arkona?" I ask, my optics looking to her own. I find it hard to believe I made love to this femme mere cycles ago. When I had felt her body against mine, I knew it didn't feel right. But I had _wanted_ it to. And yet, here I was, now knowing and being faced with the truth of my shattered fantasy. Char would never come back from the dead.

"Because I love you, and I know you love her," she peaks. "I-I want to help you, Megatron. I want to be there for you. You need me…"

Need her? Mentally, I grow, keeping all my strength not to slap her across the face. I don't need anyone! The only one I needed was Char, and the femme before me was not her. Just a façade that I hoped for. She is a lie. She is a fantasy. One that I cannot continue. Others would be looking for her. Her family. Her putrid friend at the bar. She could not be let go. She would tell from the sheer hurt of me letting her go. I know what rejection feels like, and I know what it can do to a processor. I will not let that come back to haunt me.  
"Yes, I see your point," I murmur, letting my hand run down to her chin. "I am sorry, my behaviour is not quite reasonable today. I went to the store, but I seem to have misplaced my prescription. I do apologise."

"No," she whispers gratefully, her hand overlapping my own. She rubs her palms against my knuckles, like a love-struck teenager. "You have nothing to be sorry about, Megatron. I am forever yours." She's bold (a little too bold for my liking) as she kisses me on the lips. I taste her once more, but I take her hand, leading her to the berth.

Laying her down, I straddle her gently. "Arkona, would you prefer to be called your birth title?"

She seems confused to the question, though grateful that I have showed her I want to take her once more. "I… please call me whatever you prefer. I don't mind, honest. I like when you call me Char. I feel special."

A hint of pleasure goes through my system, and I feel my fangs show through my grin. "Of course. Char, I am going to hurt you this time, is that understood?" Once more, she looks confused, and this time, a little frightened. "It will be over soon, I promise. It won't last forever." She soon nods after a short hesitation.  
Leaning down, I kiss her once more, running my hand down her side. She gasps and moans, and I feel myself getting rather hard downstairs. I remove her cod-piece to slip a digit inside her already moist port, and she gives in to me within a spark-beat. I like that.  
"Good, you're doing well," I praise, her teeth nipping my lip a little. That makes me chuckle, giving her a dark look. "I see you are learning well."

"Only from the best," she whispers sinisterly into my audio. I feel my cable stiffen to its peak and tell her to talk dirty to me. That it excites me. So she does. She says how much she wants my hard shaft inside her tight, wanting valve. She really hits the good spots, but it only reminds me how much she isn't Char. Char would never say such things. Such dirty… vial things.

Grinning, I lick against her neck. She questions why I haven't removed my armour, but I tell her it's just a part of the game. "I want you to feel how rough I can be, Char. How much I want my shaft inside you."

"Yes… please, Megatron… I want it so much," she begs, her thighs spreading further apart, her body heating up. I can see the insides of her thighs are damp with lust now.

I sit against her crotch, though supporting my weight on my legs as I know I'll probably wind her if I sit directly against her soft stomach. I run my hands up her bare chest. "I'm going to hurt you now. Are you ready?" She takes a moment to think, but nods, and so I move my hands to her neck and slowly tighten them.

"Auh…!" she moans, as if it feels good. I merely tighten them, watching as she begs for more. She wants it so much. She wants to please me so much. I give her more pressure until I feel the wires in her neck beginning to block off the circulation. She's choking now.  
Her optics go wide, and her hands go against me, trying to urge me to stop. She chokes, sputters and wheezes for me to stop. She knows it's not a joke now. She knows I'm not going to stop. And I don't. I continue as she begs for me, her hands coming up to my face to try and claw at me.

"Shh, shh," I coo as gently as I can, though it coming out rather ragged as she's squirming and kicking. I tighten my hands as much as I can, and she watches me the whole time, as if to say 'why? Why are you doing this to me?'. I just continue, my fangs bared now as I apologise.  
"I'm sorry," I whisper, spittle falling from my mouth. "It has to be this way! I'm sorry!" She gives an animalistic sound from the back of her clamped throat, and eventually, she falls limp on the berth.  
Panting, I let go of her neck, watching as her head lolls to the side. It was the right thing to do. I couldn't set her free, she would tell too much. I would be locked away. She loved me, and I knew what love could do. It could send a 'bot crazy. She wasn't the same femme as she had been before I brought her here. She had changed. She wouldn't make it in the real world. She'd be incarcerated, or even commit suicide. She fell in love with her captor, as I fell in love with the femme who had stolen my spark. Sometimes to truly find peace, was to truly die…

_… The End… _

**Author's Comment:**

Come on, guys... you all knew she wasn't going to live. If you've read my series, it's said a few times that Megatron never let his victims live. One, so there was no evidence, and two, so they didn't have to live a life knowing what happened to them [like he does with his mother].

I really wanted this chapter to be in Megatron's perspective, so I hope that was a bit of a surprise. =3 If it was Arkona's, I just don't think it would have that same impact. I really wanted people to understand Megatron's point of view and how he saw things/got caught up and confused within things.

I know, it might still be confusing for you, but with Megatron's condition, being on and off pills, it's not meant to exactly make PERFECT sense, but if you can understand it, than thank you for being able to. =3

Of course, I hope you enjoyed this series, and I had a really great time writing it. I challenged myself with writing in first person, and I'm very happy with the outcome. :)


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